The New Republic
by Rosecrystals
Summary: Anakin Skywalker didn't fall to the dark-side and Palpatine has been defeated. But war is still simmering around the stretches of the galaxy. Tatooine is teetering on the edge of interplanetary conflict. Obi-wan Kenobi is questioning his loyalties to the Jedi Order. And Anakin is torn between his dreams as a Jedi and his new-found family. (AU, sequel to Children of the Revolution).
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Awwww, yeeeah. I'm back. The sequel I hinted at. I just couldn't resist. A whole new set of problems for our favorite characters. Without further ado…**

* * *

**Chapter One**

**Questions**

Life is a great blessing. A miracle of science. A collection of unlikely circumstances. Life is a phenomenon that cannot truly be explained

Exceedingly complex. The fibrous bundle of muscles that beats beneath a human's ribs. The blood that runs through veins. The electricity between the neuron's of the brain.

Life is beautiful. A series of vivid, colorful images that flash in the retinas of a being's eyes. An assortment of touch. Soft. Caring. Loving.

The scent of a lover. Of a flowered field.

A range of sounds. The smooth melodic sounds of an orchestra. The purring of a starship's engines.

Those who are alive are privileged to be able to experience all these wonders of life.

But living is also accompanied by burden.

Peace is accompanied by war.

The beings of the galaxy were foolish to believe that with the death of their deceitful chancellor that the war was over.

In reality it had just begun. There were still disgruntled separatists. And they were still led by Count Dooku.

The efforts to free slaves on Tatooine had enraged slave owners. They had begun to relentlessly pillage homes and take more slaves than they had ever done before. They hiked up their prices so slaves could not be so easily bought and freed. And any intervention from the republic was often met with violence.

War, it seemed, was beginning to simmer on the lawless planet.

Yes, the seeds of change had been planted. The revolution was on its way. And the galaxy was one step closer to becoming a better place.

But it would not be an easy change. There would still be struggle.

And there would be sacrifice.

* * *

A group of children no more than five or six years old stood in a training room in the Jedi temple, light-sabers poised. Spherical remotes floated before them. Their eyes were covered with training helmets and they relied only on the force to protect themselves from the painful bolts that the remotes released.

There had often been a diminutive green creature that led these training sessions. But lately, the younglings saw Yoda less and less.

He had been more or less replaced by a man the galaxy had come to refer to as the Hero with no fear.

Anakin Skywalker watched with a gentle smile the scene before him.

It was an immense joy to be a mentor. To lead others down the path of the Jedi order.

The younglings continued the training session for a few more minutes until Obi-wan walked into the room.

"Younglings." Anakin spoke. "Remove your helmets."

Light-sabers went out and were clicked into belts and the younglings took off their helmets and looked up at Anakin.

"Master Obi-wan is here."

"Hello, Master-Obi-wan." They chorused.

A warm smile blossomed on his face.

"Hello."

"What brings you here?" Anakin asked, Obi-wan's smile echoed on his own face.

"The Council has scheduled a meeting in an hour. About the Tatooine crisis."

"And?"

"As it is your native planet they thought you should be at the meeting."

"Alright. I'll see you there shortly."

* * *

Anakin and his former master walked the corridors of the Jedi Temple.

"I can't help but think I've influenced you, Obi-wan. And not in a good way."

"You? Influence me? That's laughable."

"Oh come on. You and Siri started dating after I married Padmé. The timing, Obi-wan."

"You will never get a confession out of me, Anakin."

"I don't need one." He smirked.

"I'm just wondering what the Council will do with you once they find out. I had the Chosen status to help me. But you, you're so normal."

"The Council is not going to find out."

"They will. You're going to get sick of hiding. Trust me, I would know."

Obi-wan sighed. "_Never _repeat what I am about to say. I think the attachment clause of the Order…needs to be amended. I think attachment is acceptable as long as a Jedi has control and can understand balance. I have come to believe that it is good to love someone as long as you can live without them. As long as their love doesn't destroy you or make you incapable of functioning."

"Maybe you should voice your opinion."

"And risk being thrown out of the Order?"

"You and I are not the only ones who have taken lovers. There are many Jedi who have secret girlfriends and boyfriends. And wives and husbands."

"What you're suggesting…"

"Things change, Obi-wan. You can't move forward if you never change. If you don't change, you can't grow."

"You're right."

"I'm not saying you have to tell the Council now or very soon. I'm just saying that at some point, you should. I'll be there with you. I promise."

Obi-wan looked slightly over-whelmed.

"Alright. Enough conversation on that subject."

Anakin smiled.

* * *

Anakin stood alongside Obi-wan in the Council chambers.

"As you know, there has been increasing violence on Tatooine over the recent anti-slavery movement. The opposition is something we had predicted. But nevertheless, our involvement is necessary. Criminal activities like slavery that take place on systems that are not ruled by the republic need are issues we need to address. They have been too often ignored." Ki-Adi Mundi said.

"A realization I wish would have been reached when I lived on Tatooine."

Ki-Adi Mundi smiled at Anakin. "The senate is continually sending troops to Tatooine to counter the violence. But Jedi presence is something the Council believes will be productive."

"As a former Tatooine resident, we believe you should be among the Jedi sent to the planet. Now, we know you have duties to your wife and children. And you can decline. But you have done great things for the Republic, Anakin. We would not have defeated Palpatine if it weren't for you. We believe you can really make a difference."

"I am flattered that you're considering me for this mission. I have to think it through for some time before I have an answer."

"Of course." Ki Adi Mundi replied.

As Anakin walked out with Obi-wan he was conflicted. A part of him wanted to go to Tatooine. To join in the fight to stop slavery. One of his dreams had been, in fact, to free the slaves. It was something he told his mother he would do. He had told her with conviction.

But he worried for Padmé. If he was seriously hurt in battle. If he died. He didn't want to die. He had so much to live for.

His life had just started to take a turn for the better.

Would that change if he went to Tatooine?

Would everything crash and burn around him?

Was this the one risk that he would regret taking?

He knew the answer was locked away somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind. He just wasn't sure he wanted to know.


	2. Misadventures

**A/N: Thanks to LunarBallet and Venator88 for reviewing. New chapter, yay!**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Misadventures**

Coruscant's afternoon sun gleamed over the rose covered veranda in an almost empty room in the Jedi Temple. A woman with cascading blonde waves stood, her face turned to the bustling Coruscant traffic not far out the window.

Obi-wan's hand brushed the small of her back and Siri jumped in fright, a small yelp making its way past her lips.

"A true Jedi can sense danger before it approaches."

"Watch yourself, Obi-wan. One of these days I just might _kill_ you."

He breathed in her flowery scent, her thick golden tresses brushing his nose. He wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her in close.

"You wouldn't dare. You love me too much." He said, his voice low and hushed.

She raised her eyebrows. "I don't know. I'm re-thinking my earlier confession."

"Too late." He replied smugly.

His mouth was warm on the skin of her neck and she arched into him slightly.

"It's not the place or time for this." She said unevenly.

"This Jedi is tired of following the rules." He murmured.

"Can it wait until we go to your apartment? I would rather not get caught."

"One kiss." He requested sweetly.

She turned to face him, her hands delving into the folds of his Jedi Robe.

He stroked her cheek before his lips claimed hers. Her lips parted with his, a few hot breaths making their way into mouth before his tongue followed, tracing her lower lip before skimming past her teeth and twining with her own. She sighed against his mouth, kissing him for a few more moments until the rational part of her made her pull away breathlessly.

"Let's go." She said softly.

He smiled, kissing her cheek affectionately before the two walked side by side all the way to his apartment.

* * *

Padmé sat on the carpeted floor of 500 Republica, her skirts pooled around her. Luke sat on her lap and Leia was crawling aimlessly, curious of her surroundings.

Padmé looked at Luke, a pang of love in her chest as his blue eyes looked into her own.

He reminded her so strongly of Anakin. She saw her husband every time she looked at the baby and sometimes it almost made her want to weep with joy and love.

There was a bustling of sounds and she looked up to see Anakin walk into their apartment. If it weren't for the child in her arms she would have leapt up and hugged him. He had only been gone for a couple of hours, but it felt like years.

He smiled. That gentle, loving smile of his.

He scooped Leia up in his arms and she giggled in response. He kissed the short silky brown hair on her head.

"Hello sweetheart." He said softly.

Her tiny fingers brushed his nose and he kissed them affectionately. She squealed happily.

Padmé felt lightheaded with happiness. Everything was the way she had always wanted it to be.

He kneeled before so they were almost level, Leia tucked in his arm. He kissed Luke's forehead before bringing his face back up to Padmé's.

His eyes locked with hers and it felt almost like that night over a year ago when he held her on the landing platform outside only hours after reuniting after a decade.

Like he had never looked at her before. The feelings new.

"Hello." He whispered.

"What took you so long?" She asked with yearning.

"Council meeting."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." He said softly.

He kissed her. Her eyes shut, his mouth moving over hers torturously slow. The need to be close to him was overwhelming.

They had dinner and put the babies to bed.

After an hour of love-making, they lay in bed, still awake.

It was quiet, save the sounds of traffic outside, before Anakin spoke.

"I want to talk to you about something." He said.

She traced lines over his bare chest.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine." He answered.

"What is it?"

"You know about the crisis on Tatooine?"

"Obviously, it's all the senate has been talking about for weeks."

"The Council wants to send me on a mission there."

She frowned slightly. "But it's so dangerous right now."

"Which is why I wanted to talk to you about it first."

She was silent.

"Padmé, what should I do?"

"That isn't my decision to make."

"It is. I want to help the slaves. You know I do. But you and the babies come first."

"You're a gifted Jedi. I know you'll be okay…if you decide to go."

"I don't want to leave you." He said softly.

"Do you want to go on this mission?" She asked.

He paused. "I don't know."

"I appreciate that you asked my permission. But I can't tell you what you should do."

"Would you be alright without me for a while?"

"I'm not a weak woman, Ani."

"I know you're not. That's one of the reasons why I love you."

She smiled.

In a voice that echoed Shmi's, Padmé spoke. "What does your heart tell you?"

"That I should go."

"Then that's what you should do."

He still looked conflicted.

"I have Dormé to help me with the babies. I'll be fine, Anakin."

He looked into her eyes with a half-hearted smile.

"I feel like I'm abandoning you."

"No. We both knew the Republic could use our help. I'm proud of you for wanting to help others."

"I love you." He said quietly.

"I love you too." She snuggled in close, her cheek resting affectionately on his chest. His wrapped his arms around her, their breathing falling into a steady rhythm before they fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

There had once been an indestructible team among the Jedi Order:The Chosen one and his Master. A couple of obstacles got in the way of their adventures, but like the changing of a season they would fight side by side once more.

In a ship, sleek and silver much like Padmé's Naboo Cruiser were Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi . They were headed for Anakin's desert planet.

Except this time they weren't alone. Obi-wan's apprentice Ahsoka Tano was along for the mission.

It was something that Obi-wan didn't necessarily agree with.

Yes, it was true. Her saber skills were something to be reckoned with. And she had a fiery spirit, perfect for battle. But he didn't think she was ready.

Obi-wan sensed too much of Anakin in his new padawan.

If given the opportunity she could be reckless and Obi-wan feared that it might get her into trouble on Tatooine.

_Especially_ on Tatooine.

Anakin sensed Obi-wan's anxiety, walking over to the Jedi Master.

Obi-wan was seated at the controls, his chin in his hand and his brows furrowed.

"You look troubled." Anakin noted.

Obi-wan's blue-green eyes focused on the young man before him for a few moments before he said anything.

"I don't know about my padawan."

Anakin felt wistful at the word 'padawan.' Once it belonged only to him. Obi-wan had raised Anakin like a child and now that he had been knighted, Anakin no longer felt like Obi-wan's son. And it made him slightly sad.

He smiled. "She'll be okay. I always was."

"We always escaped every conflict by the skin of our teeth. I don't how much longer I can handle the stress before I have a stroke or an aneurysm."

"Obi-wan, it's way too early for you to be acting like an old man."

Obi-wan raised a brow. "Well, thanks to you and your insanity fueled escapades I've mentally aged 30 years in the last decade."

Anakin grinned impishly and answered with the slightest sarcasm. "Awww, Obi-wan. I'm flattered."

"Shut-up."

Ahsoka was standing on the opposite side of the cockpit. She leaned on the wall, her arms crossed.

"It's so good to have him pick on someone besides me."

Anakin looked at the young girl with a smirk.

"Don't worry, Ahsoka. He won't forget about you."

"I was hoping he would." She sighed.

"I dealt with his attitude for ten years. You'll survive."

Obi-wan looked irritated. "Excuse me?! You know, I can hear everything you two are saying."

Ahsoka smirked. "That's the point."

There was a moment of awkward silence before the tree of them exploded into hysterical laughter.

Maybe this mission wouldn't be as bad as Obi-wan thought.


	3. Tatooine

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. Thanks to Angie, froovygirl, and eldar-melda for reviewing. Update time! :D**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**Tatooine**

It felt for that brief stretch of time aboard the star-ship with Obi-wan that the events of the past year and a half hadn't happened. Like it was a regular mission and Anakin was still a rebellious Padawan. Like he hadn't reunited with the woman he now called his wife.

Like he wasn't a father to two beautiful, sweet children.. He smiled at the thought.

As his eyes focused on the blurred line of stars at light-speed he felt surreal.

For a moment he felt like they were returning to Coruscant from their mission to Ansion. He vaguely remembered Obi-wan's horrified face as he had crashed into the diginitary's living room.

He started to laugh and Obi-wan looked at him.

"What, may I ask is so funny?"

"Your face on our mission to Ansion. The nest of Gundarks."

Obi-wan smirked. "Hopefully you won't try any of your…reckless maneuvers."

"Oh, Obi-wan. Where's the fun in that? I love scaring the daylights out of you."

"You have to be a good example for Ahsoka. She's already impulsive enough as it is."

They both looked at Ahsoka. She raised a brow.

"Acting on impulse is not necessarily a bad thing." Anakin replied. 'Sometimes the situation calls for it."

Ahsoka smiled. "I agree."

Obi-wan shook his head in slight annoyance. "What am I going to do with you two?"

"Accept us for the unruly, crazy Jedi we are."

"I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

Anakin smiled impishly, like a misbehaved child. "Nope."

Obi-wan chuckled. A notification flashed on the starship's navi-screen and the elder Jedi walked over and sat at the controls. The ship lurched and they came out of hyperspace. A barren, brown planet appeared.

Anakin felt a mix of emotions. Sadness. A home that was never a home. His mother's resting place. The slightest nostalgia. Despite all the struggles he had made some good memories on Tatooine too. Games with friends. Meeting Padmé for the first time. Winning the Boonta Eve Classic. Quiet nights with Shmi staring up at the night sky spotted with billions of glittering stars.

And he felt the slightest fear. Tatooine had always been a dangerous place. But now was different. The planet was out of control. The death toll was astronomical. Diplomats and soldiers were being killed. Slaves were being ruthlessly murdered.

Before, the threats of conflict simmered on the desert planet. But this was not before. This was now.

And now there was war.

And war meant death.

He hoped it wouldn't be his two Jedi companions.

He hoped it wouldn't be himself.

No.

Because they had all just begun to live their lives.

He had just began to live his life.

A life without so much pain.

He feared it would return to him.

The pain.

He closed his eyes and felt peace in the force. In the memories of Padmé. Of Luke and Leia.

All the beautiful moments of the past year played out behind his eyelids.

And they made him strong.

* * *

For the first time in months Padmé slept alone in her bed.

_Without her husband._

Luke and Leia slept soundlessly in their cribs at the corner of her bedroom.

She touched the empty sheets where Anakin would have been laying had he been with her.

She felt an ache inside. It reached up like flames up into her throat, tightening the muscles there.

There was a stinging behind her closed eyelids. She blinked the tears away.

"I must be strong." She whispered.

Strong for her husband. Strong for her children.

But most importantly, strong for herself.

It was a quality she had always prided herself in having.

And it was a quality she wasn't going to let go of because life had become more complicated.

Yes, she had the dream she always wanted. But it had to come with sacrifice.

That just wouldn't be real life.

* * *

The emotional exhaustion caught up with her finally. And thankfully.

Padmé drifted off into a deep sleep. One that was initially dreamless.

About halfway into the night the slightest flickers of a dream spread across her mind like a hologram.

There was a place in varying shades of the same hue. Browns, beiges, and tans. There was a room with clay walls and she was reminded vaguely of the junk shop she had first met Anakin in.

She walked around curiously, but she had no clue what she was looking for. And then in a flash everything was dark. Not even the tiniest bit of sunlight poured in from the windows. And then a light shone a few meters from where she stood and she almost screamed in horror.

Suspended from the ceiling was a man she loved very dearly.

His wrists were bound above his head and his ankles were tied together.

His face was caked with dried blood and he was crying out in pain.

"Anakin…" She sobbed.

There was a slave owner standing just behind him and the sound of the man's whip cutting through the air was harsh against Padmé's ears.

She could tell that her Ani was trying to be brave, but even so there were fault-lines among the dirt and blood on his face where tears had fallen.

She was sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe.

She woke up suddenly, gasping for air.

She had to talk to Anakin.

There was danger.

Not the kind he was predicting. No.

Something far worse.

She had to warn him.

It could have just been a dream.

He would laugh at her and tell her she was being silly. Irrational.

And maybe in a way she was.

Her dreams of him before had almost come true. They had come very close to happening. But they hadn't.

Because he had been too strong.

She hoped he would be now.

He had to be.

Something very ugly waited for him on Tatooine.

Something dark and cruel. Depraved.

Those things often waited for him. He seemed to follow them everywhere he went.

And if he didn't follow them, they certainly seemed to follow him.

Because Anakin was the light.

And the light was always followed by the dark.


	4. Fixing Things

**A/N: Woohoo. Had a bit of writers block, but I'm back. So this chapter is very fluffy. I mean to the point of cheese. But I'm kind of overcome with the Anakin/Padmé FEELS. You know? And tumblr does not help, goddamn that site. The chappie verges into slight M lemony-ness. **

**I'm sorry if the romantic, lovey dovey stuff bores you guys, but I f***ing love Anakin and Padmé. Okay? Next chapter will include the ass-kicking bad-assery we all love about our galaxy far, far away.**

**Thanks to froovygirl and QueenNaberrie for reviewing.**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Fixing Things**

They were taken into the brown planet's gravitational pull. It took only minutes to break through the atmosphere, but it certainly didn't feel like minutes.

It may have for Obi-wan and Ahsoka.

But for Anakin it lasted hours. His thoughts stuck in some sort of suspended animation.

He forgot for a moment where he was and where he was going.

It was like a dream and he let himself fall into it.

_There was a cool summer breeze. It washed over him, like a soft touch on his skin._

_His surroundings were not the sterile, minimalist interior of their starship. There was green grass as far as he could see and he was suddenly a little bit younger, a teenager on the brink of twenty._

_Padmé's face was turned toward the sun. Her brown curls brushed her shoulders, gold sun-kissed highlights in between strands of chocolate brown. Her cheeks were flushed pink with the feelings of love, the feelings he could feel inside himself as well._

_She smiled and looked at him. Her brown eyes looked like amber, like topaz tinted glass as they caught the sunlight._

_She laughed softly and it was like a song, the sound sweet in his ears._

"_What?" She asked._

"_Nothing."_

"_You look like you have something on your mind."_

"_Not much actually." He smiled back._

_He paused and the smile on his face faded somewhat. It hurt. Sometimes his feelings for her were so strong they were like a pang in his chest. Especially in the moments where she was so heartbreakingly beautiful. Moments like now. _

_She was his and he knew that, but still. He ached for her._

_Like lungs ached when they had no air._

_Like the soul ached when a person missed someone._

_He was sick, really. When he wasn't around her. When he couldn't touch her._

_He was sick and he could only ever be cured when he was wrapped up in her. When he felt her small hands brush up on his skin. He could only ever be cured when he could feel the flutter of her heart against his own. When he felt her soft, rose petal lips move in harmony against his._

_He was sick and he could only ever be cured with the sound of her quiet whimpers as he kissed the hollow of her neck._

_He could only ever be cured when he held her in his arms and felt her cheek rest on his chest, when he felt her hug him back, her arms around his waist, pulling him tightly against her like she was a scared little animal looking for its mother._

_He was sick and he could only ever be cured when he could feel her in his veins, in his blood, blooming inside his heart._

_He could only ever be cured in the moments where they made love, when her body moved in time with his and they fit against each other like puzzle pieces, every hollow filled with its matching curve. An exhale that expanded his chest filling the valley of her soft belly when she breathed._

_He could only ever be cured by the feeling of her silken hair, twined with his fingers. He could only ever be cured by the desperate way she wrapped her legs around his waist when he moved slowly inside her._

_He was sick and he could only ever be cured by the gentle way she touched his back when he quivered with the after effects of orgasm._

_She healed him._

_There was an ache in him and she healed him._

_She looked at him, the smile ever present on her face._

"_What is it, Ani?"_

"_I love you." He said softly._

_Her eyes were down-cast, long brown lashes over rosy cheeks. Her smile was sweeter then. And he didn't know how that was even possible._

_It was the third day of their honeymoon in that meadow._

_It was over a year ago. Days before he left her for a month for a mission._

_He wondered as the memory played out in his mind, as she gazed back at him, if she was pregnant._

_Or if they made their babies moments later when they slept together in the tall grasses of the field._

_He could hear her laugh, an echo in the open wilderness. She was running from him._

_He caught up with her, his arms wrapping around her from behind. She fought against him, giggling like a child._

"_No." He said to her. "You're mine."_

_She was facing him suddenly. She touched his padawan braid, pulling it like an anchor until his mouth covered hers._

He was warm and the memory left him like he woken from a peaceful sleep.

He was sad for a moment. Sad that he couldn't recreate those memories over and over again.

That he wasn't with her.

He reminded himself with a glance at Obi-wan that he was doing something important. Something that his mother would have been proud of him for doing.

Something that would make Padmé happy even though he was so far away from her. Something that would give her hope that the galaxy wasn't falling to pieces. She had wanted to fix things. And now he was going to help her do that.

He locked their love away inside himself and the walls of steel inside his mind went up.

It was time to be strong. He had been dreaming of a beautiful place.

But the place they were going was not beautiful. It had very little to do with love. With goodness.

And in order for him to give his home love and goodness he had walk away from those things.

He had to be strong. He had to prepare himself for ugliness. For hate and wickedness.

Obi-wan patted Anakin's back reassuringly.

He smiled at his former Master.

There was a moment of silence and then he spoke.

"Ready?" Anakin asked roguishly.

Obi-wan smirked. "Always."

The star-ship hovered meters from the ground before it landed in the busy Tatooine spaceport.

Anakin had stopped being a Jedi for some time.

And now he was going to be one again.

And that felt good.

One adventure had ended.

Another adventure had begun.


	5. Meant to Be

**A/N: I went a long while before updating. Sorry! Serious writer's block. Anywayzzz. Oh and I know I promised readers some action in this chappie, but I guess I lied? LOL. Next chapter. I just needed to set things up in this chapter. Thanks to froovygirl, Lunarballet, and "Guest" for reviewing. Time for an update!**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Meant to Be**

It was a disturbing sight. So soon after they had disembarked. And out in broad daylight.

But there it was.

It was something Anakin's mother often shielded him from. He had seen it happen to her a few times. The memories were burned in his mind like they had happened just yesterday.

He stopped walking and stared as a slave owner beat a young boy. He was reminded of himself.

The boy was no more than 12 and slender. His slight frame didn't offer him any kindnesses against the blows of the burly older man.

They were supposed to meet a battalion of clone troopers on the outskirts of the city. They were planning a surprise attack. But Anakin couldn't go. Not yet. He couldn't walk away as the boy was beaten within an inch of his life.

The boy was cowered in fear and the slave owner's whip was raised. It didn't meet the boy's skin as intended.

Instead Anakin used the force to pull it from the man's grasp.

He stared at Anakin first in shock. Then in anger.

"What do you think you're doing?" He spat.

"He's been punished enough. He won't be much use to you dead."

"That is none of your business!"

"When you strike him in front of me, it is."

"He is my property. I can do whatever I like with him."

Anakin had done enough killing in his lifetime. Even if those he struck down deserved it. But he wasn't opposed to seriously hurting the slave owner.

"Well then. I guess you wouldn't mind if I do whatever I like with you."

Anakin punched the man in the face. Blood gushed out of his newly broken nose.

He clutched at his face, hands covered in shiny red. Then he roared in anger and went for Anakin.

Anakin raised his hand and used the force to push the man back twenty feet. He crashed into a fruit stand.

The slave owner got up awkwardly and then ran towards Anakin.

The young Jedi picked up a piece of stray wood and swung. It hit the slave owner's head with such force that he was unconscious immediately. He fell lifelessly onto the ground.

The boy looked up at Anakin in awe.

Anakin kneeled and smiled at him.

"Hello."

The young slave was speechless.

"What is your name?"

"Jacen."

"Nice to meet you, Jacen. My name is Anakin."

The boy looked at him with hesitation.

"You should come with me."

"But my chip will…"

"I know about that. I'll de-activate it."

"How?"

"I'll tell you later. But for now I want to take you somewhere safe."

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You've got nothing left to lose."

The boy looked at him with confusion and the slightest fear.

"Just trust me. I want to help you. And I promise I will."

"You don't even know me." The boy replied.

"I know more about you than you know."

The boy furrowed his brows. It appeared by the twisting of his features that he was thinking about an answer. He just couldn't find the words.

Anakin's palm rested on the boy's shoulders paternally. He looked into the boy's eyes. He didn't use a mind trick. He could have. But a slave couldn't really be fooled.

Slaves saw too much death and pain and suffering to be foolish. There was no such thing as ignorance. And this meant they were wise. Young or old. Man or boy.

They saw too much and this meant they knew. They knew everything.

Anakin looked into the boy's hazel eyes and let the young slave see his soul. That there were no lies behind his words. That his promises were real.

"Trust me." He said gently.

There were a few moments where words were not spoken. And then the two disappeared into the busy Tatooine marketplace.

* * *

After exhausting their mother, Luke and Leia finally fell asleep.

Padmé walked out of their bedroom carefully.

Sola was seated in the living room.

Padmé walked over to her older sister and sat beside her.

"I've been having my dreams again."

Sola sighed. She had run out of witty replies. That well had gone dry after their father had been killed.

"Tell me."

Padmé almost smiled.

"The usual."

Sola looked at her curiously.

"Anakin."

Sola didn't appear surprised.

"He's on a mission to Tatooine. I dreamt of him there."

Sola didn't reply with anything. Her look was only more imploring.

"They were beating him."

"Who?"

"The slave owners." Padmé paused.

"Sola, I'm afraid for him. I'm afraid he's taken on more trouble than he can handle."

"The hero with no fear?" Sola replied light-heartedly.

"The Republic has crossed a line with the Hutts, Sola. With the criminals on Tatooine. They're going to retaliate. And I know Anakin will be caught in the crossfire."

"Then why did you tell him go?" Sola asked seriously.

"How could I not tell him? He wanted to go."

"You knew how dangerous it would be."

"He's a skilled warrior. He has a gift. To stop him from using that gift…"

"Padmé…" Sola began.

"Anakin is a fierce creature. And he knows suffering very well. He will always go where the pain leads him. And that means he will hurt. Whether it's in a battlefield or with you. He's going to hurt. Everyone does. You have to accept that, Padmé. I know that when you were a little girl you wanted to stop the hurt. The hurt in those around you. But you can't. You can't stop the hurt in yourself. You can't stop the hurt in any one else. You just can't."

Padme blinked away the tears.

"I don't want him to feel pain."

"The only way that would happen would be if the sun stopped setting and the moons stopped spinning. You know that's not possible."

Padmé breathed. A calming, steadying breath. "I want to go to Tatooine."

Sola almost shook her head. "You have to take care of your children."

"I _have_ to help Anakin."

"You're not going to help him by going there. You'll distract him. And if you get hurt or you die on that planet your children will lose a mother. And Anakin will lose one of the few people he has left."

Padmé buried her fingers in her curls with frustration.

"I don't know what to do! What if something happens to him!?"

"You can't stop anything from happening. If something is meant to be it will be."

"So our father's death…that was meant to be?"

Sola was quiet for a moment.

"In some sick, twisted way."

Padmé looked up at the heavens as if looking for an answer. A sliver of hope.

She closed her eyes.

Sola drew her little sister in her arms.

"Whatever happens, the Gods will be with him. He is loved, Padmé. By more beings than you or Obi-wan. He'll be okay. Whatever happens."

And how could Anakin not be loved.

How could that be?

He was love itself.


	6. Nightmares are Real

**A/N: Thanks to EmpressElizabeth, froovygirl, angie, and Queen Naberrie for reviewing. Without further ado…**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

**Nightmares are Real**

Just a few meters away, among the bustling crowds, were Obi-wan Kenobi and Ahsoka Tano.

Anakin, followed closely by Jacen, joined his Jedi companions once more.

Obi-wan looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

"Where in the BLAZES have you been?" He asked with exasperation.

Anakin smirked, his typical reaction to Obi-wan's frustration.

"Just making some new friends."

"Now is not the time to be socializing. We were supposed to meet the clone troopers twenty minutes ago, Anakin."

Anakin's impish smiled faded along with his sarcasm.

"This boy's master was physically abusing him. I couldn't just stand by and let it continue."

"That is not what we were sent here to do."

"It's what Qui-Gon did for me, though. Wasn't it?"

Obi-wan's features softened and Anakin could see the sadness lace the man's features.

"You're…you're right Anakin. I'm sorry. Jedi strive to help those who cannot help themselves."

Obi-wan looked at Anakin.

"But his master will likely retaliate for what you've done. You've put yourself in danger."

"Aren't we headed for danger anyways? I mean, isn't that what our job entails?"

Obi-wan smiled. "Yes, but you always take on more than your fair share of danger, Anakin."

Anakin grinned. "Guess I'm a bit of a thrill seeker."

Obi-wan answered dryly. "I had no idea."

Anakin glanced down at Jacen before looking back up at Obi-wan.

"This is Jacen."

"Jacen, these are my friends Obi-wan Kenobi and Ahsoka Tano."

The boy was timid. A lifetime of punishment making him question every decision he would ever make.

"It's okay. We don't wanna hurt you."

Jacen shook Obi-wan's hand with hesitation and then Ahsoka's.

"I'm gonna need help finding his chip. His Master will set it off, no doubt."

Obi-wan sighed. "Well, I guess that means going back to the ship."

Anakin smiled boyishly. "Just tell them you're going to be a little late." He said referring to the battalion of clone troopers.

"Of course. It's not like they need or help or anything." Ob-wan replied sarcastically.

Ahsoka laughed.

Anakin smiled and looked at her. "Don't you just love it when he's angry?"

"It's always my favorite part of the day." She answered.

Obi-wan rolled his eyes.

The three Jedi and their new companion began their trek back to their starship.

And whether they smiled and laughed or lost their temper, they all knew deep down that something was about to happen.

Well, something _always_ happened.

There wouldn't be any trace of existence if something didn't happen.

No, something bad. Something very bad was about to happen.

They knew, behind their jokes and mockery, that they were teetering on the edge of something very, very bad.

This wasn't a normal mission. There wouldn't be normal danger. No something was going to happen. Something that would rival every other unforgettable moment in their lives.

They all knew. But somehow they marched forward.

* * *

Padmé Amidala listened to the sounds of booing and cheering. It all seemed distant and she questioned why she still participated in the game called politics. They all told themselves they were doing something important.

But sometimes all she saw were bickering children disguised as adults. Pettiness and greed hidden away behind senatorial robes.

She was blind suddenly and perhaps a little deaf. Everything went away like she had fallen asleep.

The gray interior rotunda was painted green and blue. She was in the meadow.

_Their_ meadow.

_Anakin._

She wasn't angry anymore.

All she felt was love.

Anakin smiled at her.

That smile was much more innocent that the smile she saw almost a week ago.

Before Ruwee died. Before Shmi and Tatooine.

The Anakin she knew now was a man.

But the Anakin she saw in her daydream was just a boy.

A jaded boy. A boy who had known pain so closely he could call it a friend. But despite all that, he was still a boy. And he believed things with blind optimism. He hoped.

Because wasn't it true that he escaped the most hopeless circumstances?

He was surrounded with poverty and suffering. With cruelty and abuse. But somehow he escaped.

And that meant that anything was possible. Every wish and prayer. Every dream.

And she had loved that about him.

Because it was something she rarely saw in anyone else.

No one hoped and dreamed anymore.

And he did.

She served among a senate and lived in a galaxy filled with hate. Filled with mean spiritedness. Filled with bitterness.

And he appeared in her life again after so long with the innocence of a child.

He didn't hate. He was impossibly kind.

He was everything she ever strived to be.

Everything she had always wanted the world to be.

Someone who cared, someone who loved.

She touched his face. He laughed and she could feel his hand gently wrap around her wrist. His lips brushed her palm.

She climbed onto his lap and rested her face in the hollow of his neck.

"Hello?" he said softly.

She placed her palm over his heart. "Hello."

There were a few quiet moments where everything was still except the sound of their breathing and the flutter of his heartbeat under her hand.

And then he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. And she felt sleepy and warm.

And she would have told him that she loved him.

But he kissed her before she could speak.

And everything wrong was right when he kissed her. When he touched her.

She wanted to kiss him for forever and make love to him until the word ceased to exist.

Everything else was pain and sadness. Everything else but his love.

The daydream ended and she saw the slate gray folds of her dress.

Not the meadow or Anakin.

She looked numbly at the podium in the center of the rotunda.

She was always the first to voice her objections during senate meetings.

But she was weary. And she had more important things to worry about than mindless, stupid politicians.

After the meeting was adjourned she went to 500 Republica where her babies slept.

She gazed at the chubby little angels and laughed softly.

Her husband was not with her the way she wanted him to be.

But he would always be with her when she looked at her children.

He would always be in the blue of Luke's eyes and the blond tufts of the baby's hair.

He would always be with her because half of his blood ran through their tiny veins.

He would always be with her because his love would overcome anything. Space and distance and time.

Grief and loss.

And though he was so far away she felt his love as though he was standing beside her.

It was tiresome in her world.

But she felt nothing in that moment but peace.

* * *

Anakin knew it would be a difficult battle on Tatooine.

But the battle he was preparing for should have happened some hours later.

Instead it began before they had even walked a mile.

There was the sound of an explosion.

Jacen fell and Anakin knew immediately that the boy was wounded.

He barely knew the boy, but the grief he felt in his heart was that of a father over his son.

By their bland and dirty clothing, Anakin knew the men who had thrown an explosive were slave owners.

The three Jedi raised their light-sabers bravely.

One middle aged opponent charged for Anakin, firing shots from his blaster all the way.

Anakin deflected every one.

His blue blade tore through a set of ribs and out the man's back.

The slave owner fell. Ahsoka and Obi-wan were as successful with their opponents and it seemed for a little while that they were winning.

The slave owners were struck down and Anakin ran over to Jacen.

He turned the boy over so he lay on his back.

Jacen's features twisted in pain, but he was alive.

Anakin smiled.

"You're okay!"

"Thanks to you. Can we get out of here now?'

"Yeah." He helped the boy stand.

"I think I broke my arm."

"We'll take care of that as soon as we get back to the ship."

"Anakin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

Anakin smiled.

The boy smiled back at him.

Something in Jacen's hazel eyes changed. The look on his face turned into terror.

And before Anakin could react he felt a blaster shot strike him in his right arm.

He cried out in pain, but still tried to unclip his light-saber with his left hand.

He turned to face four more attackers and as hard as his friends tried they couldn't get to him in time.

The opponents threw an explosive and there was a wall of smoke behind Anakin.

And before he could even fathom the idea that his Jedi companions could be dead behind all that smoke, the slave owner that he had struck down did the very same thing to him.

Anakin felt a piece of heavy machinery slam into the side of his skull.

There was a flash of light and he could see Padmé's face in the silver glow of the Naboo moon.

And then everything was gone.

There wasn't fear or regret. Or pain.

There was nothing.


	7. Mourning

**A/N: Advanced warning that this chapter is gonna be sorta gruesome. Sorry. Thanks to EmpressElizabeth for reviewing.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

**Mourning**

His eyes felt heavy. Like they were weighed down with something. Like they were glued shut.

After a few moments he mustered up enough strength to open them. The room was dark. His mouth tasted like metal and little lightning strikes of pain exploded along his skull.

He groaned.

"Obi-wan?" He called hoarsely.

"Your friends aren't here."

The dark void he stared into was lit dimly. Just enough so he could recognize the face of the slave owner he had stolen Jacen from.

He went to strike the man, but Anakin realized as consciousness slowly came back to him that his hands were bound above his head.

The slave owner laughed maliciously.

"Not so tough anymore, huh?"

Anakin usually had a witty insult to use for situations like these, but he was beginning to realize that this was not the usual trouble he got into.

Many people on Tatooine, namely the Hutts and slave owners were seasoned criminals. Skilled and highly intelligent.

Crossing them meant playing a game that had only two outcomes.

Serious injury.

Or death.

"I see your type often. Young and arrogant. Think they got all the answers. Think they're the strongest, the meanest."

"And almost every time I show them just how strong they really are."

"I'm going to teach you a lesson, boy."

Anakin tensed, his blue eyes wide.

The slave owner had a cylindrical object in his hand. It was made of metal and had six or seven prongs at the end of it and Anakin knew instantly what it was.

He struggled against his restraints.

The slave owner laughed viciously.

He pressed the weapon over the young Jedi's sternum.

Anakin screamed as thousands of electrical shocks tore through his body.

He convulsed violently and his eyes shut.

He tasted fresh blood in his mouth.

When he felt consciousness begin to slip away the slave owner stopped.

Anakin breaths were uneven. He looked at the slave owner wearily.

"I'm not afraid to die." He rasped. "Kill me. I know you want to."

The slave owner smiled.

"And ruin a good show? Nah, I think I'll have a few more goes with this."

Anakin's cries filled the room like a wounded animal's.

The shocks stopped once more and Anakin wondered with exhaustion when he was going to finally pass out.

He could barely keep his eyes open and the shocks had made him slightly paralyzed like he'd had a stroke.

"Maybe next time you should think about just who you're messing with. This isn't Republic territory, boy. We have our own laws here. And you just broke one. You stole something from me and now I'm going to take something from you."

Anakin didn't think he had enough energy left to make any sort of sound, but when he was electrocuted again he screamed just like before.

He felt blood pool in his mouth and spill over his lips. He closed his eyes and a lone tear slipped out from underneath his lashes.

"Aww. Are you crying?"

"That…that was moving. I'm touched."

He was going to die here. He knew.

He didn't know if it was even possible. But he sent his feelings of love through the force. He hoped they would reach Padmé.

"You were very entertaining. So I'm going to give you a little treat. Five minute break." The slave owner smiled.

"I'll be right back." He walked out.

Anakin's hands writhed as he tried to get them free of the binding they were tied together with. The blisters on his wrist burst and began to bleed.

Soon the ruby red soaked through his bindings and ran like little bloody rivers down his arms.

There was the sound of footsteps and Anakin froze.

The slave owner walked back in.

"It's really too bad. If you had just minded your own business you'd be unharmed right now. And my little slave boy would be alive."

Anakin looked at the man with horror and grief.

"You... you killed him?"

The slave owner smiled.

"He was just a child." Anakin said sadly.

"He got a taste of freedom. Once they get that they never stop trying to run away. You see, you showed him it was possible. And it's too much effort for me to stop him. He's better to me dead."

Anakin looked calm suddenly. He was falling into the force.

There is no emotion. There is only peace.

The crack of the whip stung on his bare back, but it was paled in comparison by the ache in his heart.

He remembered telling his mother he would come back home to free the slaves.

"I'm sorry, mom." He whispered.

"I broke a promise."

Somewhere very far away a senator stopped in her footsteps and she felt strangely empty. Like a part of her had gone missing. And she felt an ache in her heart.

And she knew Anakin was in pain.

The city wind ruffled her chocolate curls and carried away with them a name.

"Ani." She said softly.

She stared at the skyline and she felt cold.

Nobody knew if the Gods grieved. If they cried.

But in that moment they did.

They grieved.

For Anakin.

For the slave boy. For the sweet, brave Knight.

For the young man who risked everything he held dear to help the oppressed peoples of his homeland.

The Gods heard the little boy's voice, a voice from more than a decade ago.

"The biggest problem in the universe is that no one helps each other."

And they mourned him.

Anakin's eyes started to flutter. His tensed muscles relaxed and his lips parted in a sigh.

He was slipping away.

There was a sunset in his memories, an apricot sunset. The roses on the lake retreat's balustrade were past their prime and the red petals were carried away with the wind. It was snowing rose petals.

He was sitting on the floor and looking at Padmé. She had Luke in her arms. And he was holding Leia. He could hear his children laughing.

The sounds became more and more distant.

They had been a fairytale.

Padmé and him.

The peasant boy who had stolen the Queen's heart.

The Knight who married the most beautiful woman in all the land.

They had fought so many battles against the wicked. And they had won every one.

But they had lost the last battle.

He'd hurt her.

He promised her over and over again he never would. He'd keep her safe no matter the circumstances.

He would protect her.

But in the end he hurt her.

He hurt the one person he loved the most.

And he wished he could tell her he was sorry.

But he couldn't.

He _couldn't._


	8. Broken

**A/N: Alright. This chapter is probably the sappiest thing I have ever written and I apologize to readers who don't really like that stuff. But I'm sorry, I eat it up. I love sap. And it's gonna sound weird, but I love going to see movies that make me cry like a freaking baby. I love angst. That's probably one of the biggest reasons I like Star Wars. Because the movies make me feel sappy. They make me cry. I am not afraid to admit it. So yeah. This chapter is sappy, touchy-feely angst. I'm sorry. Don't hate me, lmao.**

**Thanks to froovygirl and 'guest' for reviewing.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**Broken **

One of the best Jedi in the entire Order couldn't save his best friend.

If this had been any other mission, Obi-Wan Kenobi would have pursued their adversaries relentlessly and within a short amount of times their enemies would be defeated. And Anakin would be safe.

His brother and friend. His son.

He would be safe. No harm would come to him.

But Obi-wan didn't know where Anakin was. He didn't know if he was safe. If he was alive.

Attachment was forbidden. But Obi-wan had formed an attachment to his old Padawan.

He loved the boy like his own blood.

And the thought of losing Anakin forever was one he couldn't even fathom. It made him hurt, physically to think about it.

And even more than that his thoughts were on the boy's wife and infant children and how much they needed him.

Obi-wan focused on the force and he felt Anakin's signature, wavering and weak.

And he knew something was wrong.

Because Anakin was rarely ever weak. Anakin always fought to the brink of death. A flame that could never be extinguished.

Obi-wan felt that now.

Anakin's light was dimming. It was going out.

Obi-wan was a stoic man. He didn't show emotion very often. He had a face like steel in the most deplorable situations. Around death and suffering and wickedness. He never broke. _Never._

The last time Obi-wan could remember crying was when Qui-Gon died.

Somehow after nearly eleven years time had not really moved forward.

Obi-wan was a Padawan again. Scared and angry.

_Broken._

His eyes shut slowly.

The tears fell onto his cheeks. Unstoppable like a flood.

He wasn't a soldier anymore. He wasn't a warrior. A Jedi Knight.

He was _human._

And he felt the loss in his heart the way a human would.

Ahsoka looked at him worriedly, her brows furrowed over her big blue eyes.

"Anakin is in trouble, isn't he?"

Obi-wan didn't answer his Padawan. He looked straight ahead where hours ago his friend had stood.

"We've gotta find him. Soon."

"I don't know where he is, my young Padawan."

"Yes you do! THINK for a second. Stop feeling. You always tell me that. No emotion gives you clarity, Master."

He smiled sadly at Ahsoka.

"I have taught you well."

Obi-wan wiped the tears from his cheeks.

He breathed in and out calmly and soon his surroundings seemed distant. Almost non-existent.

He fixed his thoughts on Anakin's flickering force signature.

Everything else fell away. Like rain from the sky.

The fragile energy he sensed was somewhere around the center of Mos Espa.

The two Jedi stood and brushed the dirt off their clothing.

"I'm going to contact the clone troopers. We're going to need their help."

"But what about the mission?"

"Anakin is more important to me than the mission."

"You're disobeying your mandate." Ahsoka said gently.

"Sometimes, little one, you have to stop thinking about the rules. You have to do what your instincts tell you. Right and wrong are not written solely in the pages of a textbook. Or in the code of the Jedi."

Sometimes right and wrong is written in your heart. In your spirit."

"What about the slaves?"

"We will help them as we planned to."

They both looked ahead and after just a moment they ran in the direction the force guided them to.

* * *

He didn't know whether he was dreaming. Or awake.

If he was dying or alive.

He didn't know where he was. Or what day it was. If it was morning or night.

There were stars all around him and planets and moons.

The cloudy nebulae of a dead star shone brilliantly in blues and violets. It was ablaze suddenly.

The light was blinding.

And then it dimmed. It wasn't sharp like the light of a nuclear explosion, like the collapsing of a dying sun.

It was soft and gold.

And there it was again.

The meadow.

Wherever he was and whatever had happened he would always come back to that place.

Pink and purple wildflowers spotted the plentiful grasses. He could hear the distant hum of the waterfalls and feel its mist on his face.

"Are you an angel?" Asked a little boy's voice.

In a silken dress the color of lilacs was Padmé. She was running and his perception was skewed somewhat. Everything moved slower than usual.

Her soft brown curls billowed behind her in the summer breeze.

Her eyes were golden jewels as they caught the sunlight.

Anakin went to run after her. But he couldn't move.

He was rooted to the ground like a tree.

He reached for her and he called her name.

But she played in the grasses. She didn't hear him.

Soon he was yelling, his voice anguished.

His throat was raw and he was suddenly mute. He couldn't speak or shout.

There was pain in his legs and he looked down.

He was turning into stone.

He tried to yell. To call her to him.

And still. He had no voice.

Inside the walls of his mind he could hear himself scream.

"_Please."_

He looked at his outstretched arms in terror. They too turned into stone.

She was laughing, twirling the many layers of her skirts in a sort of dance.

And then he couldn't breathe.

His face was wet. He sobbed quietly and then his face too turned into stone, the tormented expression forever frozen in place.

Everything was gone. There was no meadow. No wildflowers. No waterfalls. No sunlight.

There was no Padmé.

Everything was gone.

* * *

A dozen clone troopers marched forward led by two Jedi.

They were met with civilian militia. Some were bounty hunters and others were normal people.

It hurt Obi-wan. To watch them fall. The Clone troopers assault rifles striking them down.

They had done many terrible things.

But they were living beings. They had families and friends. They had children and mothers. Wives, brothers. Fathers.

Their cries rang out in his ears like daggers. The force was on fire with their pain.

And then it was over.

He walked over their dead bodies and nothing seemed real.

The slave owner who had taken Anakin hostage lay among them.

Obi-wan used the force to disable the locks on the clay and sandstone home.

Jacen was chained to a wall. But he was alive. He was alert

He looked at Obi-wan, shaking fiercely.

"Where is Anakin?"

Jacen pointed and Obi-wan raced forward.

In a dirty, dank room with no windows and barely any light was the man Obi-wan had grown to love.

Anakin lay on his side, barefoot, clad only in his tattered Jedi pants.

His bare torso was bruised and bloodied.

His long blond curls were darkened and matted with caked on blood.

It was everywhere. The blood.

Obi-wan had never seen so much.

The clone troopers were soon alongside Obi-wan.

Anakin didn't look real.

Obi-wan had only ever seen Anakin when the boy was strong. When he fought. When he didn't give up.

When he was alight with energy.

He didn't recognize the Anakin he saw now.

Lifeless and frail.

They picked him up and put him on a makeshift stretcher.

And in just minutes they were all aboard a starship back home.

In just minutes everything they had prepared weeks for had ended.

Obi-wan didn't know the death toll. The casualties.

He didn't know whether they had lost or won.

And it didn't matter anymore.

Because he had lost the most important battle of his career.

Of his life.

He lost the battle to keep Anakin safe.

* * *

Padmé had tried for three days to contact Anakin. She had heard no reply.

She tried contacting Obi-wan. He too would not answer.

Sola watched Luke and Leia.

Padmé couldn't sleep or eat.

News spread that the clone troopers were bringing back some wounded.

And Padmé knew before she ever set foot on the landing platform in Coruscant's spaceport that Anakin was among them.

The starship she had been waiting for landed and Obi-wan was among the first to step out.

He locked eyes with Padmé instantly.

He looked sad and tired. He looked hopeless.

"_My_ Anakin." She thought.

Obi-wan wrapped his arms around her. She tucked her face in his shoulder.

Padmé wept.

And she felt like she was dying.

Pieces and pieces of her soul were tearing away. Lost in the wind like grains of sand.

There it was again.

The thing she ran away from everyday. The thing she had tried to stop. To protect her people from.

The thing she couldn't protect her father from.

The thing she couldn't protect the sick little refugees in her arms from all those years ago.

Death.

There it was.

* * *

It could have been an hour later. It could have been a day. She didn't comprehend what time was anymore.

She lay on some chairs at the med-center.

She got lost in the variations on the metal flooring.

Obi-wan's hand settled gently on her forearm.

She looked up at him.

She could have asked if Anakin was alright. If he was alive.

But she decided she didn't want to know the answer.

She followed Obi-wan numbly through the corridors.

The doctor was waiting for them.

Padmé wouldn't speak.

Obi-wan asked instead.

"Is he alright?"

"He is stable. Unconscious, but stable."

"He was shocked extensively. Surprisingly there was no damage to his heart. But the nerves in his legs were."

"What does that mean exactly?" Obi-wan asked.

"That means they may not regain full function."

"So what you're saying is that he won't be able to walk."

The doctor nodded.

_He'll never be a Jedi again, _she thought_._

"Are there treatments? Can you repair the nerves?"

"Yes. They can be regenerated genetically. But it's a long process. And painful."

"How long will it take?"

"It depends. Typically two or three months."

"Well, how soon will it be possible to begin the process?" Obi-wan asked.

"We need to gather some genetic samples. We can start in a week."

Anakin wasn't dead. He was very much alive.

Although Padmé couldn't tell by the way he laid in bed at the med-center.

By the way his eyes were shut. It barely even looked like he was breathing.

She didn't want to find out what really happened to him on Tatooine. She knew it must have been awful by the bruises on his skin. By the gashes on his arms and shoulders.

She couldn't feel him anymore.

She always had.

Before he even touched her.

She could always feel him. All he needed to do was look at her.

He could be meters away.

But when he looked at her she could feel him.

She could feel him in her own breath. In her veins. She could feel him in the rise and fall of her chest. In the beating of her heart.

She could feel him on the tips of her fingers and along the seam of her mouth.

Like he was underneath her skin.

But she didn't feel that now.

He was going to get better. But somehow she couldn't be happy.

Because he was going to hurt. He was going to hurt so much more.

And she couldn't stand it.

Because all Anakin had ever done in his life was hurt.

Yes he had loved and laughed. He had been happy.

But underneath all that there was always hurt inside him.

Sometimes she wondered if he would ever be free from it.

She saw him now as a man. Yes.

But she realized as she sat beside him in the med-center that she had fallen in love with the boy he had been. Not the man he was now.

Padmé had always been a mother. Before she had been a woman. When she was just a little girl.

Before she had Luke and Leia.

There were a million reasons why she fell for Ani.

But perhaps one of the most important was that she felt like a mother to him.

He was as much her child as he was the father to her children.

And every mother wanted their child not to hurt.

She felt that when Anakin was sad or broken, when he was in pain that she had failed.

She hadn't kept her little boy safe.

She cried, quiet sobs.

Anakin was every person struck down in her life. He was every poor and starving child she had walked by on Naboo's streets.

Anakin was the little refugee children she had tried to save so long ago.

He was the pure innocence she loved to see in everyone else. In everyone she loved.

And when he hurt it was like seeing an angel shot down.

Like a flower ripped from the ground and tossed aside carelessly.

Like a collapsing star.

Something beautiful being destroyed.

She ran her fingers along the silver veins underneath the skin of his arm.

And she missed his laugh. His deep blue eyes. And his smile.

She missed his joy.

There was nothing more beautiful in the entire world than Anakin's joy.

She touched his cheek. Ran her fingers over his closed eyelids.

And she hoped.

Wherever he was, whether in a dream or darkness that he could feel her the way she always felt him.


	9. Forever Changed

**A/N: Hello! So this chapter focuses solely on Obi-wan and Siri. And there's a shameless Moulin Rouge reference because I love that movie and Ewan Mcgregor is just awesome. Also, George Lucas married his long-time girlfriend recently, so yay! Enough rambling. Thanks to EmpressElizabeth, Guest, and TanoMonkey for reviewing. Getting nice reviews is really what motivates me to keep writing so you guys are awesome. Update time!**

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**Chapter Nine**

**Forever Changed**

Obi-wan walked toward his apartment. But it didn't feel like walking.

He couldn't really feel his feet striking the ground and besides the change of surroundings he couldn't even really tell he was moving forward at all.

Physically, he was in that corridor.

But his spirit was somewhere else.

Obi-wan saw Qui-Gon sometimes when he looked at Anakin.

The defiance. The loyalty. The need to do what was right instead of what was laid out before him.

When Obi-wan saw Anakin unconscious in that slave owners home he thought the boy was dead.

His friend and brother. His son was dead.

And somehow seeing that, it was as if Qui-Gon had died all over again.

A time Obi-wan had never wanted to go back to. Something he never wanted to see again.

Something he didn't want to feel.

But he couldn't go back to the Obi-wan he was before. Calm and collected. Cold.

He couldn't.

He was human again.

A human that formed attachments. It was said that a true Jedi could not form attachments.

It would destroy everything a Jedi worked for.

It would destroy the Jedi himself.

But Obi-wan was forever changed.

Loss was something he always ran away from.

The grief. The infinite sadness. But he always found himself back there. No matter what he did.

He could try to turn his feelings off like a switch that turned off a light.

The grief would always come back to him.

His apartment door slid open.

He looked ahead and saw Siri standing before him. Her blonde hair was outlined by the light of the room behind her and she almost looked like an angel.

"Is he alright?" She asked.

Obi-wan was almost too exhausted to speak.

"He will be." He looked at the ground numbly.

"Time heals all wounds. Not those of the spirit, though."

She looked at him quietly.

"I think the Anakin I knew is gone."

"I don't know if he has his innocence anymore. That slave owner took something from him. I think he took his faith."

"You don't know that. You haven't even spoken to him, have you?"

"I know Anakin. The Anakin I knew would not have given up like that. He would have fought. And he didn't."

"Obi-wan…" She began.

She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"You must have hope. Anakin will be alright. And so will you."

Obi-wan ran his fingers through Siri's hair.

Siri. I…I want to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" She murmured.

"You're going to be disappointed in me."

"No. You could never disappoint me."

He sighed. "I don't know if I should even say it."

"Just tell me."

"I love you." He said softly.

She almost laughed.

"Silly boy. I already know that."

"I want to be with you."

"You already are."

"No. Not completely. How much longer can we go on like this? Hiding and keeping secrets. I don't want to live that kind of life anymore."

"You want to leave the order."

"No. Being a Jedi is one of the most important things in my life. For a while it was the only thing. I can't give it up like that."

"But how can you live a life as a Jedi and one where we're together…openly?"

"I love you, Siri. You brought the joy back to my life. I went on for so long with no reason to live, except to serve the public and the greater good. But it isn't enough. And there's more to life than that. Anakin taught me something. And that is that the greatest thing in life is to love someone and be loved by them in return."

Siri was silent for a moment.

"I love you, Obi-wan. But the Jedi Order needs us."

"Then they will not let us go. They won't cast us out."

"What are you asking me, Obi-wan?" She looked up into his blue-green eyes.

"I want… I want to be with you. Until the end of everything. In a way that isn't defined by the trappings of lust. Or by loneliness."

She frowned. "But what we have is more than that."

"Yes. It is. But the way we're living right now isn't enough. The secret meetings. The lies. I love you. And something that wonderful shouldn't be hidden away. We deserve better than that."

"What are you saying?"

"Marry me."

She stepped back and there were a mix of emotions on her face. The slightest joy. Confusion. Shock. But also dread. They could be throwing away their entire lives to follow their hearts.

She could have said no. The old Siri would have laughed in his face. Obi-wan was always so foolish to her.

But almost losing him some months back had changed her.

"Will you be my wife?"

Her cheeks were pink and she smiled. A smile so bright that it put the stars to shame.

"Yes."

He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers insistently.

Loss would always be a part of Obi-wan Kenobi.

And it had taken many things from him. But it gave him something too.

It gave him the inspiration to follow his dreams. Because he only had one life. And he had to live it the best way he could.


	10. Healing

**A/N: Alrighty. I don't know how fast I'm gonna be able to update this week. I'm volunteering with a group of counselors to help children who have experienced trauma. I have a Bachelor's degree in Psychology so my career goal is to be a therapist and help people. Real life Padmé Amidala, lmao! Though I'm not as attractive as her, Damn. **

**But anyway I don't know if I'm gonna have the time to update so quickly. Forgive me.**

**Thanks to Venator88 and Mo Angel for reviewing. Update time!**

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**Chapter Ten**

**Healing**

Padmé Amidala had a comfortable childhood. She was born into a wealthy family.

She never had to watch her mother being beaten the way Anakin had to.

There was always enough to eat.

She could have anything she asked for. Any toy. If she wanted a pretty new gown she was given it.

She never had to wonder if today was the day she would die.

And Anakin had to worry whether his mother would be beaten to death. He had to worry every time Watto forced him to Pod-Race if he would crash and die from his injuries.

A grown man faced with such circumstances would find it difficult to go on. To be brave.

When he was a slave Anakin was just a little boy. A helpless child. And somehow he survived.

If it was up to Padmé no child would have to suffer the way Anakin did. No living being would have to.

Padmé had an easy life compared to so many others.

And that made her sad. That she had the luck, that she had the opportunities.

Everyone deserved that. And few had it.

She had a calm exterior. One that made her seem strong. Invincible.

But in her heart Padmé Amidala wept.

It was a quiet morning and she sat at her desk. She couldn't cry anymore.

Luke and Leia needed her. And so did the Republic.

The data-pads were scattered about on her desk. She went from one to the next without a trace of emotion on her face.

Her apartment's notification system sounded and she looked up. There were bags under her eyes. Her eyes seemed less bright and her skin had lost its usual warm glow.

She walked to the door and it slid open.

Obi-wan stood on the other side of the threshold.

"What is it?" She asked with slight alarm.

"Is something wrong with Anakin?"

"No." he said softly.

"This is going to sound odd. Especially from someone people consider to be wise."

He hesitated.

"I need your advice. I know you're not in the best shape right now. I'm not either. But I've always considered you my friend. Your help would mean a lot to me."

She smiled weakly.

"Of course. Come in, Obi-wan."

They both walked over to her sofa and sat down.

"This is something I would have asked Anakin…if he were here."

Padmé looked at her hands resting in her lap. Her eyes stung and her throat was tight.

"You know about Siri and I?"

"Yes, Ani…" She stopped at the sound of Anakin's name.

"He told me about you and her."

"I …asked Siri to marry me."

Padmé's eyes widened in surprise.

"_You_? _You_ want to break the code. Of all people, _you_."

He smiled faintly.

"It doesn't make much sense. But neither does life, does it?"

"No. nothing ever makes sense. It's slightly infuriating."

"Especially for someone as logical as you." Obi-wan said.

She smiled at him.

"What were you going to ask me?"

"Am I doing the right thing?"

"You're asking _me?_ I don't know if you realized, but I'm younger than you."

"You are wise beyond your years, Padmé."

She was silent and she looked around the room for a moment. Then she looked back at Obi-wan.

"Following your heart is always the best thing to do."

"Even if it is irrational?"

"Serving my people was something my heart told me to do. Sometimes what our heart wants is dangerous for us. Sometimes those things we want don't make sense. But a life lived without following your dreams is an empty one. It took me a long time to realize that. Anakin was my dream. And I've gone through a lot because I chose to be with him. But going back I would always make the same decision. We don't get good things for free. It will be difficult for you. But so much more difficult if you don't listen to what your heart is telling you."

"I just don't know how I'm going to tell the Council. I don't know how Siri is going to tell the Council."

There was a pause. "Over the centuries amendments have been made to the constitution. I don't see why the Jedi Order can't amend their code."

"That is a radical thing you're suggesting."

"If enough members of the order rallied behind it, I think the Council would have no choice."

"But would enough?"

"Who knows? I think perhaps setting up some judicial hearings where you could have members of the Jedi order serve as jurors would help. You could convince them that changing the rule about attachments is not as detrimental as they believe."

"That will not be an easy task."

"Nothing is easy, Obi-wan. You know that. You've fought in many battles and you've seen some…horrible things. I think you'll be able to handle this."

"I know."

"I'll help you. I'll be your representative. You have to be very versed in the legal system as a politician. I spent many years studying law. I'm more than qualified."

He smiled. It wasn't a bright smile. They couldn't smile like that right now. It was faint and half-hearted. But it was still a smile.

He had hope.

"Siri is the best thing that's happened to me. She reminds me a lot of you."

Padmé smiled.

"If you can even believe it, she's the more rational one in our relationship."

"Women are always more rational, Obi-wan."

"Excuse me?" Obi-wan smirked with mock indignation.

"Don't even lie to yourself. You know it's true."

"We'll have to agree to disagree."

There was a silence.

"You look tired, Padmé."

She stopped smiling.

"I am." She said softly.

"Maybe me, you, and Siri could have a little get together."

"A break from your work and everything else."

Padmé looked at Obi-wan with gratitude.

"I would like that very much."

"Tonight. You could have dinner with us."

She smiled and a tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. She hugged him.

"Thank you, Obi-wan."

"Don't thank me."

"I understand now. Why Anakin loves you so much."

Obi-wan laughed.

"For a while I was pretty certain he hated me."

"No. You aggravate each other…like brothers do. But I understand. You are impossibly kind, Obi-wan. I don't think you're told that often. And I don't think you even believe it of yourself. Thank you for being my friend."

"No need for thanking. You're helping me. I'm more than happy to help you."

She grinned. "So, am I invited to the wedding?"

He laughed.

"Of course!"

"Alright. Just checking."

"Well. I must go. The Council has a briefing they want me to attend."

"See you later."

"May the force be with you, Padmé."

"May the force be with you." She replied.

She looked a little less sad.

Obi-wan was glad he could ease her sorrows.

Padmé was a hero. Not in the same way a Knight was. But she had made the Republic a better place. And for once in her life someone could help her.

She helped everybody else enough as it was.


	11. Love and Loss

**A/N: Alrighty. So this chapter is all Obi/Wan Siri. I know people reading this fic may be looking for Ani/Padme fluff, but I think Obi-wan is presented as almost unfeeling in the movies. Like he has no vulnerabilities or desires. I'd like to give him a more human side, you know? Plus, could anyone really object to romantic Ewan Mcgregor? I mean, c'mon, the man is sexy! Girlish rant aside, lol. This chapter has **_**lemon**_** in it and when I say lemon, I mean lemon. Obi-wan/Siri need those. Don't like love scenes, don't read the second half of this chapter. Thanks to Venator88 for reviewing.**

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**Chapter Eleven**

**Love Conquers All**

It was so quiet around Siri Tachi that the only sound she noticed was the sound of her own breathing. It was very loud in the absence of everything else. But soon even that faded away.

Soon there was vast blue in her mind's eye that faded slowly into a deep purple and then eventually a black spotted with billions of stars.

The image of outer space was something that always calmed her.

Calm was something Siri had searched years for.

Siri was the fire. It was something that made her attractive to others. Her passion and strength were admirable qualities, but the fire in her did not discriminate.

It burned bright and it burned violently. And sometimes she was angry when she shouldn't be. She clashed with others when she should have accepted differences in opinion.

But over time and with age that fire burned a little less brightly. She still had the fire in her spirit, but it did not burn others anymore. She unleashed it only when she needed.

And recently it only seemed to burn with less zeal. Less anger.

It burned now only with love.

Whenever she slept in Obi-wan's arms.

Gods, he was so warm.

And not just in temperature. She smiled at the thought and it brought some less than appropriate images into her thoughts.

No, he had a warm disposition. When she relaxed into the force she saw golds and apricots. The amber overlay of the sunlight washing over a room.

She thought of the feeling of childhood. And not just the innocence. The security.

Obi-wan was safety. She felt watched over and protected when she was with him.

Not that she needed protection. Siri Tachi could fight her battles all by herself. Jedi needed to be able to be strong within themselves.

But the feeling that the entire world wasn't on her shoulders anymore. It was beautiful.

He was warm and somehow that didn't aggravate the fire in her spirit. It made the fire glow.

It satiated the hunger.

She felt a glimmer in the force. A small quiver. She opened her eyes and walked to her door.

When it opened Obi-wan was standing before her, his smile impish.

He walked in and she threw her arms around him.

"Where have you been? I missed you."

He smiled. "I was asking Senator Amidala what to do about the Council."

"She wants to help us."

Siri pulled away and looked doubtfully into Obi-wan's blue green eyes.

He touched her cheek. It was rosy suddenly and he smiled.

"I love making you do that."

She smiled, a smile so wide that it seemed it would reach her ears.

She closed her eyes and laughed softly.

"I love you." Obi-wan whispered.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her smile didn't seem as bright.

"I'm very worried about the council. What's going to happen to us, Obi-wan?"

"The force works in mysterious ways. We don't know our future. But I know whatever they decide we will still be together."

She pressed herself to him, her cheek resting on the folds of his tunic.

"I hope so."

He touched the crown of her head and then his hand slid slowly over her silky hair.

"I can't wait until you're my wife."

Her cheeks burned at the word and her heart hammered behind her ribs.

"I already am. I see you as my husband. I don't need to recite any vows to feel that."

He smiled and laid his cheek over her head.

They stayed that way for a few moments, holding each other. There was nothing but peace and serenity.

Siri shifted in his arms and looked up at him, her eyes half-lidded.

His nose brushed hers softly and then their mouths met.

A kiss that didn't build its passion slowly, but one that was deep and feverish from the very start. His tongue pressed against the center of her lips and they opened, a kiss in every meaning of the word.

She felt every nerve ending in her body sing with pleasure and the feeling rose up inside her until she moaned against his mouth.

He pressed himself to her more tightly and echoed her, his own moan tingling against her lips. She was drinking in his breath.

He pulled away and she looked slightly pained for a second like she needed his kiss to stay alive. Like everything depended on it.

He smiled gently and brushed her hair away from her neck. He feathered kisses down her cheek, over her jaw-line, and then down her neck. And then she felt his lips part over the junction of her collarbones. He pressed his mouth against her skin, opening and closing and re-opening as if he was kissing her on the lips.

She dug her fingers into his copper hair and whimpered.

"Obi-wan." She whispered. And she felt the ache. The need to be part of him.

They undressed each other clumsily and landed on her bed with a bounce.

She laughed.

He was quiet, his eyes locked with hers.

She ran her hand across the small of his back and over his shoulder blade.

"I love you." She said breathlessly.

He cupped her face in his hands and lowered his lips onto hers.

Her legs rose up, opening for him.

There were a few moments where all they did was kiss insistently and then he was pushing himself inside her as gently as he could.

She arched against him and gasped.

And then he was moving inside her slowly and she was panting.

His words were little more than a pleasured exhale, a feverish whisper.

"I love you."

She almost couldn't speak, dizzy and overcome.

"I…I love you too."

And she felt in the moment and away from it at the same time. Transcending time and space and feeling nothing but the heat inside her and the racing of her heart.

And then she felt the ache build and build until she cried out, the sound of her orgasm sharp in an almost otherwise quiet room.

He fisted the linens and rocked his hips into hers for a minute and then he groaned with a sort of blissful anguish.

She traced lazy lines over his back. Her eyes were still shut and she smiled.

He turned on his side and pulled her with him, a soft and slow kiss in the afterglow.

They were quiet as they got dressed, stealing glances at each other now and then.

"I invited Padmé over for dinner with us. I hope you don't mind, love. I just thought…"

"She needed a friend. It's fine." Siri smiled roguishly.

"I just hope you know that being in the presence of two women isn't always pleasant."

He smiled back at her. "What?"

"We might talk about clothes and such. You know, boring women things."

"A Jedi talking about clothes. I thought possession was forbidden." He quipped.

"So is attachment."

They both laughed.

He was serious suddenly.

"I don't know if she'd talk about such trivial things right now."

"I remember when we all thought you were dead." Siri said sadly.

"I know how Padmé feels." She said.

"I don't wish that on my worst enemy. That feeling."

Obi-wan curled his fingers around hers.

"I'll always be with you." He said softly.

"What if I die? Or you die?"

"I think and maybe this is a ridiculous notion but hear me out. I think love doesn't know death. I think love conquers everything. Even distance and loss."

She smiled. "I'd like to believe that."

"Do you?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid to believe that. I feel that as soon as I believe I'll be proven wrong. I'll lose you."

"You'll never lose me. If I die you'll feel me in the force. I know you will.

She buried her face in his chest. "But it isn't enough."

She started crying quietly.

"Shhhh." He soothed.

"You shouldn't worry things about things that haven't happened."

"Padmé doesn't deserve this."

"You shouldn't live your life expecting to get things you deserve. You'll be disappointed."

"I did get one thing I deserved." She said almost childishly.

He smiled. "Yes, you did."

And in that moment Siri believed that love conquered all. Maybe this would be the only moment she believed that. Maybe she would never believe it again. Maybe she would lose Obi-wan. Or maybe he would lose her.

But in that moment she believed.

_Love overcame everything. _

_Even distance and loss._


	12. Flaws

**Chapter Twelve**

**Flaws**

In a mirror on a dresser in a Senator's bedroom there was a reflection. A reflection of a young woman who in that moment looked more like a young girl.

It was in her eyes. Her face was guant, the dark circles under her eyelashes started to resemble bruises. And her skin was pale.

And in that way she looked like a woman and not like a child.

But not in her eyes. Not in the dimming glow in her topaz eyes, a gemstone suddenly becoming dull. In her eyes there was the sadness of a lost child.

Padmé had been many people's beacon of hope in a place that seemed to have everything but hope.

In a place where politicians reigned to take things away from their people. In a world where politicians ruled for wealth and power. And not to make the world better.

In a place where democracy seemed terrifyingly temporary. Like a thing that a person had run ahead of and couldn't get back to.

Like sitting in a speeder and watching something beautiful fade away. The head-lights of another speeder. The face of a friend. Something a person didn't want to leave behind.

There were things in the world that were good to leave behind. Like pain and self-doubt. Like helplessness.

But democracy was not one of those things.

And no matter what Padmé did democracy was struggling to catch up with her and then she looked behind and she ran towards it. But the harder she tried and the faster she ran the farther away it got.

A month ago she would have consoled herself.

"_You have Anakin and your children."_

But she didn't have Anakin.

He was barely awake in a med-center that reminded her of death. And she knew he was alive and he was going to be alive.

But in the moment it seemed like forever. Like he was forever gone.

Luke and Leia didn't cry much anymore. She didn't know whether that relieved her or made her all the more they learned to be hopeless? Just like everybody else? Had they learned to be hopeless in an age where all they should have had was hope?

Hopelessness was always light-years ahead. A part of growing up.

They had a long ways to go. But she feared that they were hopeless now as she listened to their silence.

She picked up Leia and rubbed the baby girl's back and all she could think of was how Anakin should have been there. He should have been there holding Luke.

There wasn't enough of her to go around. She knew they both needed her, but she felt so terribly alone.

How was she going to show them she loved them both?

If she coddled Luke would that upset Leia?

And if she focused on Leia would that upset Luke?

_Luke. _She looked at the baby sleeping in his crib and all she could think about was if he would be okay.

_If he was like his father._

There were things in _Anakin_ she'd love to see in _Luke_. His _bravery_ and his _kindness_ and his _loyalty_. His carefree sort of whimsy.

But there were things in Anakin she didn't want to see in Luke. Like his pain and his self-doubt.

Anakin didn't turn to the dark side the way he did in her dreams.

But it didn't matter.

She didn't want Luke to feel the way she knew Anakin had.

She remembered holding Anakin at the Lars remembered how he cried and how he couldn't stop the rage.

She never wanted her little Luke to be somewhere where he felt he had no other option but to break.

Anakin had broken many times. He always put himself back together.

But even still she never wanted to see that happen to Luke.

And that was such a stupid thing to want. Because everybody broke at one time or another. Whether it was Anakin. Whether it was herself. Whether it was the neighbor who she never saw the classmate who always looked a little sad. Or even the friend who always smiled.

Everybody broke. Because that was life.

She kissed the top of Luke's head and put him in his crib.

And then in ritualistic fashion she picked up little Leia.

Leia gave her hope. The word strong was not a word someone used to describe an infant.

But she felt that when she looked at Leia.

She felt nothing but strength and perseverance.

She felt the rational part of herself in Leia.

_The rational part that was falling away from her. Slipping through her fingers._

It was such a stupid thing to believe.

To decide how someone else would be before 'that someone' even knew what the words strength and perseverance meant. To decide to attach qualities to a person who might not want those qualities for themselves.

She sighed and cleared her thoughts before they became too big for her to handle.

Too complicated. But that was Padmé.

Trying to make so much sense of everything to the point where nothing made sense anymore.

She kissed Leia's cheek and put the baby girl back in her crib.

She felt Sola's hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay, Padmé. Go finish getting ready. I'll make sure they're fine."

"Will you contact me if anything happens?"

"What person wouldn't?" Sola asked sarcastically

"Don't make me seem like an idiot, Sola."

"You do that fine by yourself."

Padmé smirked.

"I'm used to your paranoia. Don't worry." Sola said. It sounded reassuring even thought it wasn't a compliment.

To Padmé it sounded more like _"You're flawed, but that's fine. I still love you no matter what."_

Padmé smiled and walked out the door quietly. She smiled even though she still felt sad. It was the only way. Maybe she could pretend she was happy.

Even for a little while. A little while was better than nothing at all. It was better than never.

_"I can still be happy,"_ she thought.

_"Even though I have every reason to be sad."_

I can still be happy.


	13. Are You An Angel?

**A/N: Okay, so there's some mush in this chapter. Don't hate me mtcosti, lol. Thank you for reading my AU story. I'm flattered that you think I've grown since my last fic. And thanks to Lunarballet as well.**

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**Chapter Thirteen**

**Are You An Angel?**

The next morning Padmé woke up with a searing headache. She'd had a bit too many alcoholic beverages the night before.

It had been a very long time since she had…lost sight of the strict sense of discipline she held.

Everything in her life had been very controlled and calculated. A series of mathematical equations.

One action followed by another action in a specific setting leading to a desired outcome.

Over the year she had learned that life could not be controlled like a scientific experiment. There were too many complexities. Too many complications.

And still she held onto that control tightly.

But she was starting to realize that she was only human and she deserved to fall apart sometimes.

Sometimes it took falling apart to put oneself back together again, to shake out of routine and complacency.

She remembered Siri hugging her and the distant sound of laughing and she was reminded vaguely of Jobal comforting her when she was a child.

She read the five slides of information about current news on the Tatooine conflict on her data-pad.

Initially the Senate had decided to target areas with densely concentrated slavery. Of course this had been a catalyst that had lead to a violent reaction.

Slave Masters needed workers to make profits and so they raided villages relentlessly and the ratio of slaves to free Tatooine inhabitants started becoming a little unbalanced.

There was more interplanetary trading since many previous customers were currently trapped in labor camps.

The senate agreed that some sort of economic sanctions had to be put in place to stop trading with the planet. This was a good solution for republic territories.

Systems that weren't as strongly patrolled and regulated would be an issue.

And even more so, the demand for soldiers would be an issue.

The Kaminoans were constantly releasing new Clone Troopers for the Republic, but the numbers needed to begin patrolling separatist planets were very high.

And then the question rose in their minds. Was it right to try to _civilize_ other planets? Was this rapid ascension toward a time of great Imperialism a good thing?

Was it right to forcefully colonize other planets? Didn't this go against the very meaning of Democracy?

In these moments Padmé wished life was a series of mathematical equations.

She wanted to fix everything. And the pieces just wouldn't fit together.

She dug her fingers into her hair in frustration and sighed.

There was incoming message and a hologram of Obi-wan appeared before her.

"Hello, Obi-wan."

"Hello, Padmé."

"What is it?" She smiled weakly.

"The Council wishes to speak with you."

"About…you and Siri?"

Obi-wan looked stricken with the slightest sense of anxiety for a moment. He smiled awkwardly and chuckled.

"No. Thankfully."

He stopped smiling and Padmé could sense by the change of Obi-wan's expression that whatever he wanted to say revolved around Anakin.

He had displayed that look in the past couple of days and she was attuned to it now.

"No one has told you what lead to Anakin's injuries."

She looked away from the hologram and tried to keep her composure.

"I'm not sure I want to know, Obi-wan." She said very quietly.

"I won't go into details. But he rescued a slave boy."

She looked at the fabric of her gown, draped over her knees.

Obi-wan could see the tension in her jaw and the ligaments in her neck and the firm set of her lips.

"The owner retaliated."

Obi-wan nodded.

"The Council is wondering what to do with the boy. He could stay at the temple's apartments. But he is frightened and alone." Obi-wan hesitated.

"We are asking if you could possibly…let him stay with you in the meantime. I know we could send him to the refugee residences, but he has no family."

Padmé frowned. "Of course I can. Let me just prepare. You can bring him over shortly. Sola has been staying with me the past week so we can both look after him."

"You are a saint, Padmé."

She smiled.

Her eyes looked a little less dead then, a true and genuine smile.

* * *

The door slid open and Padmé looked down at the boy.

He had a moppy head of dark brown hair and eyes the color of citrine mixed together with cinnamon. His eyes were a medium brown around the irises and lightened into a greenish gold in the centers and there were specks of dark brown throughout.

He was unusually fair for someone from a desert planet.

"This is Jacen."

Padmé's smile was gentle.

She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Nice to meet you, Jacen."

He looked nervous.

"H-hello."

"My name is Padmé."

There was an uncomfortable silence and then Padmé motioned for them to come inside.

There was the faint sound of babies crying and Padmé sighed. She looked very sad then.

"If you'll excuse me for just a moment. The babies need me."

When she walked away and disappeared into the next room, Jacen looked at Obi-wan shamefully.

"I didn't know he had a wife and children."

"You didn't get much time to become acquainted with Anakin."

"I wish I had. I could have told him to return me to my Master."

"Why would you wish for a thing like that?"

"If he didn't rescue me my Master wouldn't have hurt him. If it weren't for me he'd be with his family right now. They need him more than me."

"You would accept a lifetime of suffering to protect Anakin? That is very kind. Especially considering the fact that you barely know him."

"Why did he save me?" Jacen asked.

"He was supposed to go with you and the Jedi girl to the outskirts of the city. He could have chosen the easy way out. I could have taken the beating. I'm stronger than I look."

Obi-wan furrowed his brows.

"That is just part of Anakin's nature. He _needs_ to help others."

"But why me? He could have just walked on by."

"Anakin cannot do that."

"Why?"

Obi-wan's eyes looked distant, like he was going to a different point in time.

"Because he started from a place where no one ever bothered to help him. He knows what it's like. You see, Anakin was a slave like you. Tatooine is his home planet. And he would have gone on being a slave if it weren't for my mentor, Qui-Gon Jinn."

Jacen looked pained for a few moments and looked at the furniture of Padmé's apartment.

"He could have left me behind. He put his life on the line for me."

"You shouldn't be so distressed about what happened. Anakin is alright. He's very resilient and he always bounces back after setbacks."

Although Obi-wan wasn't sure he believed what he had just said. He really wanted to. But that was easier said than done. He showed nothing but false hope in front of the boy, though.

"His wife probably hates me. She'll blame me."

"Padmé is not like that. She is a very kind woman and her line of work puts her in danger too. She understands that her husband has to help people. That he wants to."

Jacen still looked ashamed and despairing over his newfound freedom.

Obi-wan placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. Jacen looked up at him.

"You can't change what has already happened. Be thankful for what happened. Repay Anakin by appreciating what Padmée has agreed to do for you. She's giving you her home."

Jacen nodded. "Okay."

* * *

Anakin was supposed to come out of his healing sleep today.

Padmé didn't know how she was going to react. She wanted to be strong for Anakin. But she didn't know if she would be able to.

When she walked in he was lying in bed, an arm draped over his face so it covered his eyes. He was clenching his teeth and groaning.

Apparently it took some time for the pain medication to take full effect.

She wanted to reach out and touch him, to draw him up in her arms, but she was afraid she'd hurt him.

She stood a few feet from his bed and didn't say a word.

He sensed the difference in energy and took his arm off his face.

He looked…he looked the worst she'd ever seen him look. He had a very sickly pallor, his skin slightly yellow. Under his eyes were dark circles the color of bruises. His lips weren't their normal pink, but nearly white, matching the rest of his complexion. They looked almost gray.

His cheeks were very hollow and the bone structure in his face was pronounced.

He struggled to sit up, but he wouldn't give up. He refused to look weak in front of her.

It took everything she had not to cry at the sight of him.

Yes, he was alive. But he looked so very dead. Like a living corpse.

He smiled at her. The usual impish smile and his eyes seemed a little brighter.

But she didn't smile back at him and he stopped smiling in response.

"Padmé…" He said softly.

She looked away from him and across the room.

She knew he'd feel rejected as soon as she did so. But the sight of him hurt her. It broke her heart.

"I look like a monster, don't I?"

Her features twisted in despair.

"No." her voice was cracking.

"Why won't you look at me then?"

"I…don't know."

"Don't take me for a fool. Does it disgust you to look at me?"

She looked at him.

"Stop the self-pity, Anakin. It does not disgust me to look at you. You just look very frail and it upsets me a little."

"I'll be alright." He smiled at her reassuringly.

"I know you will. I just don't like seeing you like this."

"Come here. You know, I thought I'd get a much warmer greeting from you." He joked.

"The last time you thought I was going to die you jumped into my arms."

She remembered their first kiss by the wreckage of the transport. That was so long ago.

She walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes avoiding his.

He looked a bit hurt by her avoidance, but pressed on.

"I missed you, Padmé."

His palm molded itself to her cheek. She wouldn't look at him.

His smile wavered and he looked slightly sad. But even so. He bent his neck so their faces were level and locked eyes with her. He pressed his forehead against hers and took her hand in his.

She was crying soundlessly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Her palm settled over his heartbeat. His hand covered hers lovingly.

"How are Luke and Leia?"

"They're good. But they miss you. They miss your love and your…light."

"Are they here? I want to see them."

"I didn't bring them with me. I didn't know what kind of shape you'd be in."

"I'm fine." He said.

"Sola is watching them. They're alright."

"I thought I died. It felt very real this time. And all I could think about as I was leaving…was you. I don't know how I could live apart from you. And our family."

"You…you would have learned. Life is about letting go sometimes." She said.

The tears spilled over her eyes slowly.

He wiped the droplets off her cheeks.

His mouth was soft and warm on hers and she felt the pain in her soul dissipate. Like falling into a peaceful sleep.

He pulled away and tucked his face into her shoulder, holding her to himself and she could feel him breathing against her.

She could feel the meshing of their spirits, his light warmed every part of her.

She stroked his hair. They had tried to clean him up a bit, but there were the remnants of dried blood in his hair and she could feel the matting underneath her fingers.

Like a stray animal in the cold.

"You need a bath, Ani."

"You should give me one." He joked.

"Well, I don't think you're strong enough for…that kind of a bath."

He laughed weakly.

"I think I can wash your hair."

"I'm a mess, aren't I?"

"A little." She replied.

There were no words after that. She felt him press a few gentle kisses against her pulse point, the tickle of his lashes against her skin and they breathed in time with each other. His heartbeat felt like a butterfly's wings on her chest.

It was true that his first words to her had been , "Are you an angel?"

But she felt in that moment that he was the true angel.

And in a way he always had been.

He was an angel of the force.

A heavenly creature contained in the body of a mortal man.

And he healed her.


	14. Compassion

**A/N: So um **_***dodges flying tomatoes***_** I wrote another fluffy Ani/Padmé chapter. I'm sorry! ***_**crowd boos***_

**Come on, you guys. Hear me out. Things are going to start getting interesting again. I have a few twists in mind. I just wanna rekindle the romance between Ani and Padmé after such a traumatic and if you're gonna look at it realistically, that isn't a quick 1-2-3 process. This entire fic is not going to be mushy. I promise. But the characters have to get back in the swing of things, you know? Thank you froovygirl for reviewing.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Compassion**

Padmé didn't know what side of Anakin she'd see when he woke up. She didn't know if he would ever be able to smile again. If he'd be angry about what happened to him.

She didn't know if the last dregs of his innocence would fade away like the slow setting of a distant sun.

But she wanted to curse herself for having so little faith.

Because he was looking up at her and smiling so wide it seemed it would break his face.

She had put him in a hover chair and brought him to the sink, his head hanging over the basin.

She washed his hair slowly, building up a rich, soapy lather.

Anakin would always in part be a boy to her.

But in the past year he had taken care of her like a man.

He had protected her.

He had comforted her with a soft laugh when she was frustrated about Luke and Leia.

He had joked and teased her when she was angry about issues in the senate.

Padmé always took everything so seriously and it exhausted her. But Anakin was always there to lighten a mood.

Even when she knew he was exhausted himself. Even when he spent all day at the temple, sparring with other Padawans and teaching the Younglings.

Even when his muscles were sore and she could see the sleep in his eyes.

He could have given her a quick kiss and went to bed after he came home. But he stayed. Every day.

He played with Luke and Leia so she could finish the work waiting for her on her data-pads.

He had told her she would never have to give up who she was if she married him. And he had kept that promise.

She wasn't his dutiful, obedient wife. She was his partner and his equal.

Her needs were always first. Always.

So it felt good to take care of him, to watch the light of unwavering love in his eyes.

The gratitude.

That someone could love him for _who_ he was. Not for what he was.

Padmé didn't love him because he was the Chosen One. She didn't love him because he was a great warrior or a good Jedi. She didn't love him because he was handsome.

She loved him because of his innocence, because of his compassion for his fellow man.

Anakin had always been looking for someone to love him. Not just romantically.

When he had left his mother to become a Jedi he looked up to Obi-wan.

Obi-wan was brave. He was a Jedi.

And Anakin looked for the Jedi Master's respect. He wanted the approval. And he would rarely ever tell Obi-wan, but he would have liked to have someone like Obi-wan as his father.

And it hurt him that Obi-wan rejected those feelings of attachment.

It was unfair now to be angry with Obi-wan. He was just doing his job.

But Anakin was always disappointed anyways.

And he made friends in the temple. But they were only friends with him because they were impressed with his skills as a Jedi.

They liked the Chosen One. They did not like _Anakin._

And he needed the love. He needed to replace the wound in his heart opened up like it had been stricken with a blaster's shot. Opened up when he left Shmi.

_He needed someone to replace her._

_He needed someone to be his friend._

_No one cared enough to be a friend._

_And Padmé was everything he had been waiting for._

_She was a friend, and a maternal nurturer. A lover. Someone he was allowed to love and someone who was not afraid to love him back._

_And she could see the gratitude in his eyes._

He was still smiling.

Padmé laughed.

"You look very silly right now, Ani."

The medical gown he was wearing shifted as he laughed in return and Padmé was taken from the moment when she saw tree branch shaped marks come up from his sternum and go up over his shoulder.

She stopped laughing.

He looked at himself and pulled the gown up so it stopped at his neck.

He sat up shamefully.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry, Anakin?"

"Because it's disgusting."

He paused and began drying his hair.

"They said they can get rid of them with a few laser treatments. I guess the shocks burned some of the veins and capillaries under my skin."

Padmé stared at him wordlessly.

"I still have use of my hands. If you'd like I can bathe and then you can come back and help me out when I'm done."

Her voice was soft.

"You're not disgusting, Anakin. And if they could never treat those scars I wouldn't care. Don't hide yourself from me."

"You deserve better than this, Padmé. You deserve a fresh faced prince. Someone handsome, like a holo-movie star."

"But, Anakin. You are handsome. You weren't listening to Sola the first time she met you. You're a very handsome man."

His eyes were downcast.

"Not anymore."

She cupped his face in her hands.

"Look at me, Ani."

His eyes met hers.

"You could never be ugly to me, okay? I wouldn't care if you were bald or riddled with scars or whatever physical imperfection you can think of right now. If I had wanted a handsome suitor I would have chosen one already. There were many. Dukes and princes and senator's sons. And they were all very handsome. But I didn't want them, because I hated who they were inside."

"I love you because of what is under that skin, whatever is in your bones and your heart and your soul. I love _you_."

She untied his gown so it pooled around his waist and kissed where all the lightning shaped scars originated in the center of his chest and then his shoulder and finally her lips met his.

He pulled his gown back up and Padmé stopped his hands and broke the kiss.

"Again, Ani? I just told you it…"

"I'm not doing it because I'm ashamed, Padmé! Your sister is standing in the doorway with our children!"

She turned around and looked at Sola.

They all exploded into laughter.

Sola was hesitant and she stayed in the doorway awkwardly.

"Um, I'm going to pretend I didn't just see you two try to sleep together in a med-center. So unethical, Padmé."

"Unethical? Isn't it one of your fantasies with Darred? Public places like in those holo-soap operas you watch."

Sola covered her mouth with her hands and tried desperately not to laugh.

She brought the hover carrier with Luke and Leia over.

Anakin watched them with a proud smile.

They were currently swatting each other in the face.

He looked at Padmé.

"You're not afraid they'll gouge each other's eyes out?" he asked.

"They're not strong enough for that. They might scratch each other, though." She joked.

"I thought that was a game reserved only for you and Sola." He mocked.

Sola smirked. She handed Leia to Padmé and Luke to Anakin.

He looked into Luke's eyes.

"Do you remember me?" He asked the boy.

Luke reached out. "Da-da."

Anakin smiled goofily and looked over at Sola and Padmé.

"He remembers me." He said it like he had won some sort of game and they had lost.

Luke started to whine and Anakin laughed and bent his head.

Luke grabbed his father's golden tufts of hair, pulling the locks repeatedly.

"That doesn't hurt?" Sola asked.

Anakin smiled sheepishly.

"A little."

Padmé and Sola laughed.

"Well he deserves it. I gave birth to them. He can take the pain for a little bit."

"Thank Gods I don't have my padawan braid anymore. He'd probably tear it out, no problem."

They all laughed.

Padmé's faith had left her for a while. But it came back in that moment.

Everything was going to be okay.

She could breathe.

_Everything was going to be okay._


	15. A New Family

**A/N: Hey! Thanks to brooklynturtle, froovygirl, Empresselizabeth, Queen Naberrie, and Apollo353 for reviewing. I'm going to let this chapter speak for itself.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

**A New Family**

The harsh winds of Coruscant ruffled Obi-wan's copper hair as his speeder flew the heights of the glittering city.

At the current moment the image of a slave boy was burned into his memory.

He wondered when that image had changed from a winsome blond haired pod-racing builder of machines into a jaded brown haired boy with sad green eyes.

Obi-wan wasn't sure what to do with the boy. The refugee program had helped many former slaves get back on their feet.

But this boy was alone. In those moments when he didn't have a social worker trying to help him, in those moments where he wouldn't interact with other former slaves, who would be there to guide him? Who would be there to quell his fears? Who would be there to heal the wounds he carried around inside from a lifetime of slavery?

The boy was strong. He had lasted long enough to be rescued.

But Obi-wan knew that the battle to heal mental and spiritual scars was one of the most difficult battles of a person's life.

The memories of Qui-Gon and Cerasi flickered in his mind for just a short little moment, but they were pangs in his heart that instantly reminded him of the battle he knew Jacen would have to fight.

The battle to overcome grief.

Jacen was currently at Padmé's apartment with her handmaiden.

Obi-wan arrived at the med-center Anakin was recovering at.

He had quite a few things to discuss.

* * *

When the Jedi Master walked into Anakin's room he was touched by the sight.

Anakin was asleep, with his bed positioned so he was sitting upright and Luke and Leia were sound asleep as well, burrowed into their father's chest.

Padmé was asleep in a chair and Sola was watching the scene with a smile on her face. She turned around and looked at Obi-wan.

"Hello."

"Hi."

"I need to speak to Anakin about something."

"Well, it's gonna have to wait. Because this is too adorable a moment to ruin."

Anakin's eyes fluttered open slowly.

"What's going on?" He whispered.

Obi-wan smiled. "Hello Anakin."

"Hello."

Anakin noticed Obi-wan's occasional glances at Luke and Leia. He looked down at the children in his arms and smiled softly and proudly and then looked back at Obi-wan.

"I…hate to bring this up right now." Obi-wan said.

"Out with it." Anakin said with the slightest humor.

"I'm not sure what the right course of action should be for young Jacen."

Anakin's expression was more earnest then and he was quiet for some time.

"How is he?"

"Physically, he is fine." Obi-wan paused.

"For now he's staying with Padmé. I'm sure she must have told you."

"Yes."

"I don't know where he should stay in the long term, though. Asking you two to…raise the boy is a very burdensome favor to ask of someone."

"It's not a burden. I have two already." Anakin smirked referring to the twins.

"There is the possibility of testing his blood to check midichlorian levels. And then training him in the ways of the Jedi."

There was a glimmer of protective affection in Anakin's eyes.

"No. He will be made to do nothing against his will. I didn't save him so he could go from one form of slavery to another."

"Those are very strong words. I would hardly call the Jedi way of life slavery."

"That depends on your point of view."

Obi-wan sighed. He veered the conversation away from the beginnings of an argument.

"Well, I've come here to ask you what you believe would be the best for the boy…since you were once in his place."

"I believe he should make the decision."

"And if his decision is to live with you and Padmé. Permanently."

"We'll raise him like our own child."

Obi-wan smiled. "That is a great weight off my shoulders."

"Oh no. You're not out of harm's way just yet, Obi-wan." Anakin smirked.

"Uncle Obi-wan is going to visit all the time." Anakin teased.

"I'll be too busy with Jedi dealings."

"You'll make time."

Obi-wan smirked.

His face was more serious suddenly.

"Jacen feels very guilty about what happened. He told me you should have left him behind. That your own life and your family are more important than his well-being."

Anakin frowned, a look of pained compassion. "I don't regret helping him. He shouldn't be ashamed. What's shameful here were the circumstances he faced."

He continued. "Bring him here. I want to reassure him. He has nothing to apologize for."

Obi-wan nodded gently in agreement.

* * *

Little Leia giggled as Anakin made faces at her. He opened his eyes as wide as they would go and his cheeks were inflated.

Leia's small palms hit Anakin's cheeks and he pretended she had popped them.

She squealed with joy.

Anakin laughed softly and feathered kisses over her little features.

Obi-wan and Jacen walked in quietly.

Jacen looked at Anakin and the infant girl in his arms with a pained expression. He stayed behind Obi-wan with trepidation.

Leia was trying to touch Anakin's face, but alas. Her arms were far too short. He bent his neck and she squeezed a bit of her father's cheek.

"Oww. You've got some serious nails for such a little thing."

Padmé laughed and then took Leia from Anakin and distracted her.

Jacen stared at Anakin wordlessly.

"Come over here."

Jacen was motionless.

"Pull up a chair. I want to talk to you."

Obi-wan put a reassuring hand on Jacen's shoulder.

The boy sat down with much hesitation.

He was quiet for a few moments. "Thank you." Jacen said finally. "Thank you for saving me."

Anakin smiled.

"I'm sorry you got hurt because of me."

"I would have gotten hurt either way. It's kind of a talent of mine." He smiled impishly. "Or handicap."

Anakin was suddenly serious. "We are in a time of war, Jacen. People are going to get hurt. Especially Jedi like myself. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to go to Tatooine.'

"But I'm sure you never expected what happened to you."

"What's done is done."

Jacen was silent yet again.

"The important thing to consider now is _you_."

"What do you want Jacen?"

The boy was confused. He had never been asked what he wanted. That was an irrelevant thing in a slave's life. The issue of want and need.

"Well, I'm gonna give you some options. We have no idea if you have any family. You probably have never known your parents."

Jacen shook his head despairingly.

"My wife and I have agreed to adopt you as our son."

Jacen looked startled, a mixture of different confusing emotions swimming around in him.

"I know you barely know me and the idea may seem a bit unnerving. You can say no. I just thought you should know that you are welcome to stay in our home for as long as you need."

Jacen looked around the room. He didn't know how to feel about the situation. He wanted to be happy. But it seemed like a dream. A cruel trick someone was playing on him. One that he would pay for later. His master had enjoyed playing those sorts of psychological games with him. Promising a reward and then laughing in his face the moment he believed the lies. He would always get severely lashed afterwards. His hands were shaking and he was trying desperately to look brave in front of Anakin.

Anakin read the boy's thoughts. "This isn't a trick, Jacen. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure no one ever hurts you again."

Padmé looked at Jacen sadly. She placed the babies in their hover-carrier and walked over to Jacen. She wrapped her arms around him.

He tensed at first. He had long forgotten what tenderness was. Touch to him meant bruises and cuts and broken bones.

"We don't want to hurt you. Please believe us." Padmé said softly.

He hugged her back and his face twisted and then the tears poured over his cheeks like the rapids of a river.

A lifetime of pain raining down his cheeks.

Anakin's eyes were downcast as he fell into his thoughts. He looked out the window of his room and it was dark outside, the lights of the speeders like shooting stars in outer space.

He asked the force silently what to do. What could he do to make this boy believe in good again? What could he do to give this boy faith? Hope for a better tomorrow.

He already had the answers. He just hoped that they would be enough.


	16. Make Us Stronger

**A/N: Hello! Thanks to QueenNaberrie, froovygirl, and SWfanfan for reviewing. On with the update!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Make Us Stronger**

**x-x-x**

_Attachment is forbidden_

_Possession is forbidden_

_Compassion which _

_I would define as _

_Unconditional love_

_Is central to a Jedi's life_

_So you might say_

_We are encouraged to love_

**x-x-x**

Obi-wan stood in the Jedi Council Room. There were a few moments of silence before Yoda spoke and Obi-wan was deep in his thoughts.

There was the slightest impulse building in his mind and behind his lips to say something.

To tell them he wanted to marry Siri.

He almost laughed at the train of thought. He was one of the order's most level-headed members. They regarded him as one of the wisest and most sensible Jedi and here he was having the most irrational, illogical, and foolish thoughts and inclinations.

He would tell them eventually. That was a promise he made to himself and Siri. But now was not that time.

Yoda looked at him.

"Your last mission, unsuccessful it proved to be. However, beyond your control the circumstances were. Skywalker's efforts as well as yours and Ahsoka's, appreciated they were."

"I am ready to go back, Master Yoda."

"Missing a member of your team, you are."

"Yes. I would have liked to have Anakin by my side. And perhaps eventually he could join me on the mission. I suggest maybe another Jedi be sent on this mission in his place."

"And who might you suggest?"

"Siri Tachi."

"A skilled warrior, she is."

"I think the combination of two very experienced Jedi would better serve the purpose and severity of this mission. I could consult Anakin every now and again to help me get around the planet. And of course it would be a good learning experience for Ahsoka."

"I think right you are, Master Kenobi."

Obi-wan smiled. "Thank you, Master Yoda."

The diminutive Jedi Master returned the smile.

* * *

Padmé looked down at Anakin.

He was smiling at her. The usual innocent smile. The charming, warm smile. But when she looked into his eyes, she could see behind that smile, behind the variations in his beautiful blue eyes that he was scared.

They had given him pain medication, but since they were working directly with his nerves there was only so much they could do for the pain.

Padmé held his hand, running her thumb over his knuckles.

There were several pieces of rather large machinery fixed to his legs, with countless wires running from them.

He kept smiling though.

Padmé ran her hand through his hair. It was soft under her touch. She was reminded faintly of early morning kisses while they still lay in bed.

She missed those moments and she wondered how long it would be before they had them again.

She bent over him and kissed his forehead. She sat back in her seat and all the while his eyes never left hers.

"Initializing protein synthesis." One of the medical droids said.

His brows furrowed and his grip on her hand loosened. He clenched his fists at his sides and he started trembling.

When he saw her frown he tore his eyes away from hers.

"You can- leave if- it upsets you." He said through gritted teeth.

"You need me right now. Leaving would be selfish."

"But it would make you feel better." He gasped.

"I hate to see you upset, Padmé. I-I can't stand it."

"Anakin." She stroked his cheek. He was still shaking a little. He kissed her palm.

"I'll be okay, Ani. I'm not going to leave your side."

He smiled weakly and then he shut his eyes and set his lips in a thin line and she could see his jaw tense.

He was much paler then. She touched his face again and it was damp with sweat.

She wondered how much more of the procedure he could handle.

A minute passed.

"Phase I complete."

His exhale was harsh. He opened his eyes, almost trying to blink away the pain.

The medical droids freed his legs from the machinery and he sat up slightly disoriented.

Padmé cupped his face in her hands.

"You did well, Ani."

He smiled weakly. "Really?"

"You were so brave. I'm proud of you."

He tucked his face in her shoulder.

She kissed the soft tufts of his hair.

"Anakin."

He was tracing winding little paths at the small of her back.

"I miss you, Ani."

He looked at her. "I'm right here." He whispered.

"I know. I mean, I miss our normal life."

He smiled. "Normal? When were we ever normal?"

"You know what I mean. _Our_ version of normal."

"You miss our home." He said softly.

"I miss being with you in our apartment. I miss waking up with you and falling asleep with you. I miss watching you put our children to bed."

He traced a line over her brow and temple and then he brushed her chocolate curls away from her face.

"I miss that too."

She touched his face, the tips of her fingers running slowly over his mouth.

His eyes were half-lidded. She moved towards him and their lips met. His fingers teased the hair at the nape of her neck and his mouth opened over hers slowly and she echoed him and their lips parted and closed and parted and closed over each other.

She felt very light-headed and she had to remind herself that they weren't home. She pulled away.

His breath was warm on her lips.

"You know. They only have to do the treatments once a week. I don't have to stay here."

"I can just bring you back weekly for them you mean."

"Yes. We can go home. If that's what you want." He said.

She wrapped her arms around him and he held her to him gently.

"It's what I want." She whispered.

* * *

Anakin put the last of his Jedi garb on and Padmé was so happy to see him look like his old self again.

Granted his cheeks still looked a bit sunken in and he needed to put some weight back on, but he looked a little closer to the Anakin that had left for Tatooine a month ago.

Padmé stood before him and reached out her arms.

"I don't know if this is the best idea."

"I'm just going to help you into the hover-chair."

"I'm much heavier than you, Padmé. You're so small."

She smiled wryly. "I was very athletic as a child, Ani. I'm a lot stronger than I look."

"I just don't feel right. Maybe you should ask…"

She cut him off. "Don't start with me, Mister."

He smirked.

She motioned for him for to take her hands.

He grabbed her forearms and she pulled him up. He was on his feet for a split second and then he stumbled. She caught him.

"It's okay." She reassured him.

She paused.

"Can you feel?"

"I can't feel anything." He said barely above a whisper.

"That's okay. It's too early anyway."

She helped him into his hover-chair.

He looked up at her and grinned.

"Let's go home."

She ruffled his hair and kissed the top of his head.

* * *

Their bedroom was dark and Padmé didn't bother to turn any lights on. The light from the traffic outside was enough.

Anakin was still in his hover-chair. He was sitting by Luke and Leia's cribs, his fingers running along the outer edge of Luke's crib.

"You can hold them when they wake up."

He looked at her. "I would like that."

Padmé helped him into bed and she lay down next to him.

She draped an arm over him and placed her head on his chest and he felt the contentment wash over him. There were moments in the past week where he felt less than a man, less than a human. But he felt complete and perfect when she touched him.

She traced the tree branch shaped scars on his chest. He covered her hand with his.

He closed his eyes. "I love you, Padmé."

She smiled.

"I love you too."

* * *

Obi-wan looked into Siri Tachi's eyes. They were warm and her cheeks were rosy.

When he thought of her, he had often pictured things like fire and lightning. Solar flares and shooting stars. Brilliant, striking things. Piercing things. Fierce things.

But as he looked at her now he didn't think of any of those things.

Instead he thought of slow sunrises and calming winds. Of distant waterfalls and flowered fields.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

"Yes. I want to come with you."

"You don't think our…attachment will distract us in battle?"

She ran her fingers along his beard and then stroked his cheek.

"No. I think it will make us stronger."

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.

They were going to prove the Jedi Order wrong.

This mission was going to be a success.

And it was going to be a success because of the love they felt for each other.

It would make them stronger.


	17. Tatooine Bound

**A/N: Thanks to froovygirl, ElizabethlovesTatu, Swfanfan for reviewing. I apologize for the long wait. I literally had no idea what to write. A short chapter. But I think you guys will like it.**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Tatooine Bound**

Ahsoka sat at the starships controls, her fingers sliding absentmindedly and delicately over the navi-screen. Not with enough pressure to set anything off, though she wouldn't care if she set something off. Like Anakin, she thrived on thrill seeking. If something dangerously unexpected happened she would look back on it excitedly. It gave her a sense of euphoria. Her heart raced and the danger made her want to get past the trappings of her physical body. She wanted whatever part of her, her soul, if you will to burst out from her skin and shoot up into the sky fireworks.

Playing with danger made her feel alive.

The life of routine often made beings feel less than alive. But shaking it up and challenging the so-called logical made her feel alive.

And the adage went that many felt the most alive just moments before their death. Flirting with the idea that she could die at any moment made her cling to life desperately. It scared her. It alarmed her. It unsettled her. And that was precisely why she loved it.

Obi-Wan would shake his head in disapproval at her line of thought.

I'm such a lunatic, she thought.

She smiled.

The sound of Obi-Wan's boots alerted her.

She could always tell he was walking up to her before she looked. And it had little to do with his presence in the force. His footfalls were dignified. Slow and soft.

He didn't see any reason to run anywhere if there was no need to. Don't expend your energy, he'd say. You need it.

Anakin's footfalls were different.

They were quick and they struck the ground with much noise. His footfalls were rarely ever soft.

Anakin's walk was elegant visually and he had mastered the refined aesthetic of Jedi grace. When he walked he almost floated.

But it always sounded rough. She remembered telling him it felt like the quaking of a starship blasting off when he walked.

He had looked a bit angry by the statement. But he had smirked arrogantly and pinched her arm playfully.

She had slapped him in return.

At this point she was laughing to herself.

"Are you mocking me in your daydream, young padawan?"

"Anakin, actually."

"Finally. I'm so tired of being picked on."

"Oh, I'm still gonna pick on you. That's too amusing an activity to give up."

He sighed with a smile.

Siri Tachi was lingering behind Obi-wan.

"Hello, Master Tachi." Ahsoka said respectfully.

"Hello."

Siri sat at the controls

"Two women piloting the ship?" Obi-Wan said skeptically.

"Don't even bring up that stereotype." Siri began. "Women make great pilots. Much less reckless than our male counterparts."

"You're generalizing, Siri. Not all men are needlessly aggressive pilots. I don't assert any dominance when I pilot. It's just a means to an end. From the starting point to the destination."

"I guess I was stereotyping too. And you're right. You're not an aggressive pilot. In fact, you pilot with such little aggression I'd mistake you for a drowsy elderly person."

Ahsoka was cackling with laughter.

And here they were again. However the day started and no matter who was there it always ending with a ritualistic mocking of his level headedness.

He sighed with annoyance. Siri and Ahsoka were laughing so hard they were clutching their bellies in pain , tears running over flushed cheeks.

"Like school children." He scolded and walked away.

That only made them laugh harder.

* * *

Ahsoka was meditating in her sleep chamber.

Siri looked at Obi-Wan with mischief in her eyes.

He looked back and knew what the look meant. He shook his head.

"She'll catch us."

"Oh nonsense. I can be very quiet. And we can turn on some music."

He smirked.

"So scandalous. Trying to hide our illicit affair." Obi-Wan said sarcastically.

"So illicit. An engaged couple being intimate. Terrible." She replied jokingly.

He was laughing.

She touched his cheek. His beard was rough on the inside of her wrist. She buried her fingers in his thick, copper locks.

His calm blue-green eyes flickered to life.

Slowly he threaded his fingers through hers and they walked back to his chamber.

"Wife."

She draped an arm across his waist and her cheek fit into the hollow of his shoulder.

Her voice was barely a whisper. A reverent whisper.

"Husband."

He could barely hear what she said. But he knew by the contentment that warmed to his core what she said.

He drew her up in his arms. Their cheeks pressed up against each other.

He shut his eyes and it felt like breathing for the first time.

It always felt like that.

Like beginning again. Like dying and then coming back to life. Like waking up.

Anakin had been right all along.

There was nothing in the world that compared. Love was the ultimate. There was nothing else quite like it. And there was nothing that was better.

It was everything. And it was the only thing.

The starship shot through space immeasurably fast. Like a subliminal blur.

But inside that starship there was no such concept of time.

They were frozen.

In the best way possible.


	18. New Beginnings

**A/N: Alrighty. So um I haven't updated in a while. Sorry. I just haven't been feeling the writing bug lately. This chapter is **_**okay.**_** It's nowhere near my best and I apologize. It's been a hectic summer for me and lots of things happened, not all good. I'm really distracted and it's kind of affecting my motivation to write. Anyway. The second half of this chapter is Anidala smut. I thought they were long over-due for some sexy time, lol. So Chapter's Rated M.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**New Beginnings**

It was Anakin's third appointment.

This time around he was somewhere else in his mind. Padmé knew he was falling into the force to help him with the pain.

There was a film of sweat on his face, the little beads gathering over his brows. He was trembling, but he seemed calmer than the two previous times.

He was making soft, whimpering sounds. Almost like he was having a nightmare.

Padmé touched his face and he smiled with eyes shut.

After it was all over, she cupped his face in her hands.

"I'm so proud of you."

He looked tired and his eyes lacked their normal glow, but she saw some the blue in them flicker to life a little bit when he smiled at her.

* * *

The Coruscant skyline was a deep cobalt blue and the skyscrapers glittered with freshly illuminated lights. Jacen was in 500 Republica's veranda, standing absentmindedly by the bubbling fountain. His eyes looked distant and the city wind ruffled his hair. He was so still that he could be mistaken for a statue instead of a living, breathing boy.

He heard the hum of Anakin's hover-chair and looked away from the fountain. Seeing Anakin with the appearance of a cripple made it difficult to let go of the guilt.

Anakin smiled.

"Padmé has dinner ready."

"Do you mind bringing my dinner out here?"

Anakin was silent for a moment. He looked expressionless. "Everyone eats at the dinner table. Meals aren't eaten separately."

"I don't belong at that table." He said quietly.

"Any friend of mine belongs there. You're already in our home, aren't you?"

"I'm not your friend."

"Yes, you are. And when the legal measures are taken, you'll be my son."

"Maybe I don't want to be your son." He said bitterly.

Anakin looked disappointed; his eyes seemed a bit dimmer.

"You can either sit out here and go without food or you can eat with us. Your choice."

Anakin went back inside.

Jacen felt even more guilty. But maybe if he was ill-tempered enough, Anakin and Padmé would change their minds and put him in the refugee program. That way he wouldn't be reminded of his guilt. That way he wouldn't feel so bad about what happened to Anakin.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see Padmé.

She was wearing a pale blue dress made entirely in flowy fabrics, the sleeves were loose and draping and the skirt which hit her at the ankles was pleated vertically. Bathed in the city light, she looked like an angel.

Jacen felt a bit less depressed.

"C'mon, Jacen. You need to eat."

"I'm used to starving."

Padmé saw Anakin's nine year old face flash before her eyes for a second.

She blinked away the memory.

She touched his cheek.

"We care about you, Jacen. I know that is a foreign concept for you. I know it may take a little getting used to, having that sort of bond with someone. But we want the best for you. And Anakin would do anything to stop your pain."

"That's the problem. I don't want him to. I don't deserve it. I'm not worth it."

She looked offended. "Of course you do! Don't let your past determine your future. Sometimes, when we are mistreated we believe it's because we did something to deserve the mistreatment. We believe it's because of who we are. That's there's something wrong with us. I'm going to tell you that isn't true. No one deserves to be treated badly. You were not a slave because you deserved it or because you were worthless. You were a slave because of a group of selfish and cruel people. _They _are worthless. You aren't. You're strong and you're kind. Don't you ever let anyone make you believe you're worthless."

He looked into her eyes and the faintest hint of a smile curled the left side of his lips upwards.

His eyes still looked slightly empty. But it was _something._

* * *

After dinner Anakin and Padmé watched children's holo-movies with the twins. Luke sat in Padmé's lap, and likewise Leia sat in her father's lap.

Padmé was focused on the happenings on-screen. Then she felt something on her arm. She looked and Anakin's fingers brushed along her skin lightly. He twined his fingers with hers.

She looked into his eyes and saw devotion and affection in the blue irises. His lids dropped to half-mast.

"I feel like this is a dream." He whispered.

She smiled softly.

"It can't be real."

"Why not?" She replied in a hushed voice.

"Because it's too perfect. It's too good to be true."

"You know, sometimes life _is_ perfect. Sometimes it's terrible. But, sometimes it can be perfect too."

"My life was never anywhere close to perfect until I met you. And even then, it wasn't. I couldn't have you."

"You have me _now_. And we have two lovely babies."

He didn't speak. She smiled and brought her face up to his.

The kiss was gentle and lingering, their mouths brushing across each other slowly.

She pulled away.

"I love you, Padmé."

She smiled like a schoolgirl, brushing her nose against his. She kissed his cheek.

* * *

It was late into the night when they finally put the twins to bed.

Padmé draped an arm over Anakin and laid her head on his chest. Cheek pressed against his heartbeat.

Her fingers followed the tree branch scars over his chest.

He stopped her, self-conscious. His hand closed around hers.

"Don't be ashamed, Ani. I actually like them."

"How can you like a physical deformity, Padmé?"

She giggled softly. "You are not deformed, Ani. I would hardly call a couple of marks a deformity. I think they're actually kind of sexy."

He smirked. "Sexy. I've forgotten what that feels like."

She leaned on her elbow and raised her head so it hovered above his.

"Maybe I should remind you."

He looked away, his eyes scanning the wall ashamedly.

"I can't do much right now."

Her palm molded itself to his cheek and she gently pulled his face back so he was looking at her again.

"Well, maybe I should help you then. It's not like I haven't been on top before."

He blushed.

"Stop that. We've done some pretty crazy stuff in bed. Don't act so shy all of a sudden."

He looked up at her, almost unblinking.

"Alright."

"Sit up."

He followed her order awkwardly, having to use his hands primarily.

She straddled him, lowering herself on his lap.

There was a moment where all they did was stare at each other quietly.

His arms closed around her, hands running up and down her back slowly.

Their faces were dangerously close. He gazed into her eyes and he looked intoxicated with his feelings for her.

She tilted her head for the kiss she knew was coming, but waited for him to make the first move.

His thumb swept over her cheekbone, and then his hand was buried in her chocolate curls.

"Kiss me." She whispered.

His lips parted before they ever reached hers. They were drinking each other in, their kiss deep and insistent.

He feathered kisses down her cheek. Her lips parted in a quiet sigh as he pressed his lips against her pulse point. His mouth opened over the delicate skin of her neck. He was very still for a moment and then she felt him nibble the sensitive spot. She gasped.

He stopped, his mouth brushing her collarbone. She threw her head back and arched into him. He pressed his palms against the small of her back.

He kissed the spot over her heart and she made an indistinguishable little sound, a thankful soft moan.

Her fingers teased the hem of her nightgown and he pulled away. She took it off.

He cupped her breasts.

"Ani." She whimpered.

His hands moved in circular caresses over her nipples and she gasped. Her eyes shut.

_"Oh…Ani."_

She started to rock her hips into his.

His eyes shut and he smiled, biting his lips. His hips echoed hers.

Her face was in the hollow of his neck. "It's been so long since we've made love." She said.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

She laughed.

"You apologize for being attacked?"

"No. I mean, I'm sorry that I went on the mission and left you alone."

"Well, we can more than make up for it."

She kissed up the column of his neck, her lips brushing his Adam's apple. She ran her tongue over the little peak.

He moaned.

Her fingers played with the elastic waistband of his sleep pants.

She pulled them down his legs, staring at him wickedly all the while.

She took him in her hand and he arched his neck, groaning.

Her strokes were torturously slow and calculated and his moan was harsh against her ears.

"Padmé…you're, you're _killing me_." He said in a broken whisper.

She stopped suddenly and he gasped, looking a little winded.

"Oh don't worry, I have something much better. But you know that."

She lowered herself onto him, and he was inside her. He cried out, his voice melodic almost like he was singing. He fell into her arms, holding her tight against him. He breathed raggedly.

She moved her hips over his slowly.

He bit her shoulder.

"Lie back, Ani."

Her hands were on his chest and she pushed him gently. He yielded and lay down on the mattress, his hands gripping her thighs. Her movements were slow at first. He rolled his hips under hers rhythmically.

She was moving faster then and he began to up thrust into her.

She threw her head back and the ache in her was building and building and she felt transcendental.

And she felt his legs brace behind her. She opened her eyes and looked down at him and he was smiling.

She quickened the pace and she felt as if she was leaving herself in the best way possible and she cried out.

His brows were furrowed and his face twisted into an expression of blissful agony and his fingernails dug into the flesh on her thighs. He was moving inside her insistently, panting and the pleasured sound built behind his lips in a sort of deep hum and then a broken moan spilled out of his mouth.

He rocked his hips into hers a few more times and then she felt him relax underneath her.

She laid her body over his and gave him a little peck on the lips.

"Ani."

"Hmmm."

"Your legs, you moved your legs when were making love."

"I guess I did." He said sleepily.

"You're getting better."

"I love you, Padmé."

She felt his heartbeat slow down as he started to fall asleep.

She lay on her side and he followed, spooning himself behind her. His hand covered hers, his thumb running back and forth over her knuckles.

And then after a few minutes he stopped and she knew he'd fallen into a deep sleep.

And she knew that her Ani had returned completely. Almost as if Tatooine hadn't happened.

And soon he'd be a Jedi again. He'd begin training the younglings again and he would go on missions. He'd be the warrior he had always been.

And when Naboo's grasses were green once again, he would run the expanse of their meadow. And they would go back to a perfect world where they hadn't been touched by the pain of loss and struggle.

_Back to their dream._

_Back to the beginning._


End file.
